我從很小的時候，我就知道耶穌是誰。每當我去教會的主日學時，我只會想：「今天要玩什麼遊戲？」或「我們要做手工嗎？」我根本沒有去深入理解神的存在，我也不想去操心這些事兒。我唯一想的就是主日學有多好玩。我不後悔也沒有怪自己，因為我知道每一個六、七歲的孩子都是這樣的。我在八歲時參加了教會的童子軍，但是我一點都不喜歡，就找藉口不去教會。
我的家人沒有鼓勵我和神同行，他們去工作、去賺錢、去討生活。我媽媽的脾氣不太好，我爸爸又太忙碌了。
在過去的三年裡，我開始接受基督，讓祂進到我的心裡。我更深入地知道了祂，也對基督教的信仰有了更多的了解。我常常想受洗的事，很多次，我參加了青年聚會和佈道會以後很感動，我想肯定要受洗了。我的禱告都很懇切，很誠實。我感覺到我變成了一個脫離了罪的新人。但是，只經過兩、三天，我又變回到原來的我，懶得去服從和珍愛祂。我不知道是不是我的信心不夠，或是我只想和別人一樣-大家都受洗了。
現在，我邀請耶穌進到心裡來，不是因為青年聚會或布道會，而是因為 神。祂進到我的心裡來，讓我体驗到祂的大愛和大能。
我記得遠離 神的一次是二零零零年的三月份。我那時一直想：過日子不要老是靠著 神，自己靠自己就可以了。因此，我遇到了我有生以來最沉重的打擊。我著急的根本不知所措。我在學校學習算是很好的，成績優良。有一次老師布置了一個作業，是叫我們為科學展覽做展品。我遲遲寫不出報告，腦子裡的詞語字一個個跑得無影無蹤。從那時候起，我就明白了沒有上帝我什麼事都成不了。我又孤獨又害怕，最後跟上帝禱告，求祂回到我身邊。晚上，我就哭著睡著了。我學到了我的功課，悲傷的幾天過去了， 神真的回到了我的身邊。我為這件事感恩。現在我也很感恩，因為有了那次的經歷，我成了一個更堅定的基督徒。祂給了我能力、智慧和信心去面對困難。雖然我遠離了祂，但祂卻沒有離棄我。祂對我是那麼的愛，那麼的仁慈。我也應當如此對待周圍的人。
以弗所書四章32節講道：「並要以恩慈相待，存憐憫的心，彼此饒恕，正如 神在基督裡饒恕了你們一樣。」我知道我的生命是要交給我們那位全能的上帝來掌管和使用的。「那位不欠我什麼的 神在耶穌裡給我了一切。這就能使我這個不配的人願意當祂的僕人。」(無名氏)
我會繼續把我的時間奉獻給 神。因為有人說過：「耶穌不要當我們生命中唯一的事，而是第一件事。」我呢...就是 神的女兒，從現在直到永遠。
The Difficult Path
By: Jane Zhao Chinese Translation by: Sunshine
I was very young when I came to know Christ. When I went to Sunday school at the old church, my mind was usually on "What games are we going to play this time?" or "Are we going to do arts and crafts?" I wasn't into God in one way or the other, and I didn't exactly care either. My mind was on how fun Sunday school could really be. I didn't regret or blame myself for doing that because I bet every six- or seven-year-old kid would have acted the same way. I joined Explorers when I was eight but I didn't enjoy it very much. I would often excuse myself from church. My family wasn't very helpful in my walk with Christ. They went to work and tried to earn money. My mother had tempers and my father was always so busy. For the last three years I had began to accept Christ into my heart. I knew him better and had a more vivid understanding of Christianity. I often thought about getting baptized. Many times I would attend youth camps or sermons and get really attached to it. I would be so sure I was going to get baptized. My prayers were sincere and truthful, and I would feel like a new person who had shed the old skin and arose from it. But two or three days later, I would be the same old me again. I was too lazy to love, obey, and cherish Him. I wasn't sure that if I really had faith in Him or that I just wanted to be like the crowd-everyone else was baptized. Now, I chose to have Jesus in my heart not because of some youth camp or speakers, but by God alone. He came into my heart and I experienced His true love and power. I remember in the March of 2000, I parted away from God. I thought I could do things myself and live my life without depending on him all the time. I came to a place in my life where I was so devastated that I didn't know what to do. I was doing well in school and I had good marks, until my teacher assigned this huge project for a science fair. I couldn't get anything written down on paper. The words just couldn't get into my head. That was when I understood that I couldn't do anything without God. I was lonely and terrified and I asked him to come back. I cried to myself at night; I had learned my lesson. Soon after the days of sorrow, God came back. I was so thankful for that. I'm thankful even now because through that experience, I have become a stronger Christian. He gave me power, wisdom, and confidence to meet my problems. He didn't leave me even though I left him. He is so gracious and loving to me, and I'll try to do that for others. Ephesians 4:32 says:"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." I have understood that my life is given to our magnificent God to control and use. " The God who owes me nothing gives me everything in Christ Jesus. That is enough to make me want to serve him even though I am unworthy." (Anonymous) I'll continue to devote as much time to God as possible. For someone said: Jesus does not demand to be the only thing in our lives, just the first. And I'll be the child of God for eternity.
English Translation: Sunshine
Email: youth@truth-monthly.com