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The three wise men (as everyone knows and likes to forget) did not visit Jesus in the manger as a baby. They found him much later, living in a shanty on the outskirts of Bethlehem, when he was two years old. This is important.
They knew they were looking for a child, and this was a matter of some awkwardness for them. They wondered: What sort of behavior would be appropriate in the presence of a child-king? They pictured themselves kneeling, presenting their gifts, and then perhaps sitting stiffly on the edge of wooden chairs and sipping tea. Their conversation would be mainly with the parents, of course, while the child looked on serenely, wonderingly. With careful humility they would avoid his large, omniscient eyes.
This is not how things turned out.
These men were bachelors, remember. Monkish types. Contemplatives used to sitting on their duffs and reaching after the ineffable with their noggins.
What could they possibly know about the terrible twos?
How surprised they were to find their little king blazing around the house in a torn toga, chattering up a storm, and leaping onto their laps to tweak their beards! Even more surprising, they found they did not react to these improprieties with horror. Instead they felt all the stiffness draining out of them, lifetimes of reverent caution (i.e. distrust) melting like marshmallow in hot chocolate. They were charmed, delighted, won. Truly and deeply. In no time they found themselves regressing, relaxing back into the childhood they had never had. They got down on their knees, all right, but it wasn't to worship-it was to give the kid camel rides on their backs, and then roll over like great fat bears while the boy who had made the universe, use their bellies for trampolines. They fell down before the king, yet not in some formal act of prostration, but bowled over like ninepins by the thunder of a child's chortle.
People who have had no childhood are old at forty. They have lived their lives, they can see no way forward. There is nothing left for them but to go back, back where they have never been. This prospect is terribly frightening. Imagine-being frightened of becoming a child! It's like being frightened of ice cream.
But just so did things stand with the magi. Even the stars-which to the Boy King were like so many marbles, so many toy jewels for scattering and gathering-were to these men as the utmost seriousness. Had they not given themselves to follow a star, believing this to be the great high purpose of their lives? And where had it gotten them? Rolling around in their sumptuous robes on the dirt floor of a hovel, that's where. Squealing like pigs, hooting till their sides fairly split, squirting out buckets of snotty tears. Ripping open their fine silks and brocades so that the holy little hoodlum could blow trumpets kisses into their bare tums. Years later they would still feel the amazing soft violence of his kiss in their navels, as if he really had found an aperture there and played them like an instrument, blown them full of brassy jubilance.
"Say, little fellow, you're really full of beans, aren't you?"
"You better believe I am!" said his laughing eyes. "Now you open wide your mouth, your ears, your hands, and your hearts, because I'm going to fill you up with beans, too."
And he did. They gave him their tawdry treasures; he gave them beans. A bean for rib tickling; a bean for wrestling; a bean for giggling and guffawing; a bean for innocence and dance; a bean for indignity.
Did the magi know beyond doubt that they had found their king? Oh yes, they knew! They knew it when the little guy sat astride their backs, smacked them on the rumps and cried, "Giddy up, Frankincense! Mush, Myrrh! Hi-ho, Gold-away!"
"Jesus, hon," his mother kept saying, " don't embarrass the nice men."
But he was born to embarrass nice men, to embarrass them with riches. All day long the great sages lay in the dirt collapsed in ecstasy, slain by the spirit of an urchin. All night they lay there too, babbling in tongues, humming snatches of psalms and Mother Goose, burbling musically like babes. That night the greatest astrologers of the ancient world literally saw stars-saw them for the first time, as they are, rolling round heaven to a toddler's tune.
These men who had come to pray, ended in play. They came to give gifts, but ended by leaving what they had long ached to be rid of: starched collars, tinsel crowns, jaded adult wisdom. Wise men turned into wise guys, jokers. They became fools-fools for Christ.
"Where is the wise men of this age? Where are the scholar and the philosopher? Has not God made the foolish the wisdom of the world?" -I Corinthians 1:20
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