I don ’ t want to step back -- a testimony from Zizian Zhong	我不要退後 -- 鍾楨的見證
Written by Zizian Zhong	作者：鍾楨

 

他若退後，我心裡就不喜歡他。——希伯來書10:38
And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back. -- Hebrews 10:38

少小離家，一晃近十年。十年寒暑，曾幾何時的鋒芒畢露，不知何時已經變成了退一步的海闊天空。然而，人的智慧還不如神的愚拙；面對了世事艱難，祂要我學會的功課卻是"絕不退後"。

I left home at a young age. It was nearly 10 years ago. During the past 10 years, my experiences have taught me how to avoid conflicts. I think this helps me to live a peaceful life. However, my wisdom can't even compare with God's foolishness. In times of difficulties, my lesson from Him is to "never step back".

事情要從今年4月說起。4月的最後一周，我所住的公寓空出了一個房間。我和好友小周於是開始為我們的新室友禱告。幾經周折，神給我們的答案竟是要我們搬家。我們倆在這公寓已經住了快4年。說到要走，我倆竟然是欣喜多過不捨，這不能不說是神的恩典。可是，當我們把要搬家的想法告訴了房東，她的回答卻是："你們走的時候可要好好打掃，不然我可要扣一點押金的。"我心裡咯咯蹬一下——這房間都還沒檢查，先提扣押金，想必是來者不善。

This lesson started in April 2012. In the last week of April, one of our 3 bedrooms became vacant. My friend and I started to pray for a new roommate. After that, our prayers were answered. The Lord gave us a "No", and that we should move to a new place. We had lived in the apartment for about 4 years but surprisingly we were filled with joy and peace when we were about to go. I thought that this was such a blessing from the Lord. However, when we gave our notice to the landlady, she told us, "You'd better clean everything before you go. Otherwise, I will take part of your deposit. " Hearing this, I was quite scared. The first thing she mentioned was taking our deposit which didn't sound like a good sign to me.

幾天後，房東發來一封電子郵件。郵件上羅列了在打掃時需要注意的事項。這注意事項足足有5大項30幾個小項。讀完郵件，我壓力大到喘不過氣來。深呼吸，再呼吸，想起主說你們在世上要服侍你們肉身的主人。不僅是那些良善的，就是那些怪癖的也要小心伺候著。我於是總算有點動力把郵件再看一遍。然後，我發現在那些注意事項裡面，有一條是要求我們把廚房的暖氣片擦乾淨，而我們的廚房裡其實根本就沒裝暖氣。諸如此類的要求還有好幾條。這就一下子使得我的任務減輕了不少。

A few days later, the landlady sent us an email. In her email, she gave us a to-do list. It was divided into 5 categories and more than 30 sub-categories. After reading the list, I was so depressed that I felt the need for some fresh air. After taking a deep breath, I suddenly remembered that Jesus asked us to serve our earthly masters. He asked us to serve not only the nice ones but also those that are tough. Therefore, I finally decided to read the email again. Surprisingly, the list required us to clean the heaters in the kitchen. However, we didn't have a heater there. There were several other similar requirements like that, which shortened the list instantly.

真是感謝主。

Thanks be to the Lord!

整個搬家的過程中，家俱的搬運是最讓我頭痛的。而痛中之痛是搬運我跟小周的兩個書櫃。這書櫃是別人送給牧師和師母的。他們看我們兩個家徒四壁，就給了我們一人一個。東西是好東西——2米多高、實木製造。當初搬來的時候，搬家公司來了幾個大漢送貨上門。可現在要我自己搬走，我就傻眼了。我跟幾個朋友好不容易才把我的書櫃搬上卡車。小周跑來問我還有沒有地方放她的那個，我當時的心情是相當糾結。拒絕她吧，那她怎莫辦？不拒絕她吧，那我又能怎莫辦？於是只好很鬱悶地不搭話。

During the whole moving process, packing furniture was such a headache. Among all the stuff, moving our bookcases gave us a very big challenge. Originally, these bookcases were from our pastor. He gave my friend and me one each as gifts. His gifts were high quality. However, when I needed to move them around, I discovered that they were so heavy. I had tried my best to move mine, but I struggled in my heart when my friend asked me to help with her bookcase. I wanted to help her, but there was no space in the truck anymore. As a result, I said nothing but my heart continued to struggle.

晚上的時候，小周打電話給師母，讓她想想辦法。師母自己也在搬家呢。她那兒是純手工，整個一螞蟻搬家的真人版。據她後來告訴我，她跪在主面前，找主想辦法去了。她跟主說了什莫我是不知道。我只知道當天晚上，我收到房東的短信，說是9月要搬進來的新房客，想要買我們的家俱。對方什莫都要就是不要小周的書櫃。我當時懵了。因為留在屋子裡的家俱，絕大部分都是房東配給我們的，只有那個書櫃是我們自己後來添的。仔細一問才知道，原來房東自己也不記得哪些是我們的家俱，哪些是她配給我們的家俱了。而最妙的是，對方實際上是說，她們什莫都不要，只要那個書櫃。

Later that evening, my friend called the pastor's wife for help who was also moving by herself. Her own progress of moving was also very slow. She didn't have extra energy to help move the bookcase. She told me later that, she knelt down in front of Jesus to ask him for a solution. I didn't know what she had told Jesus, but I did know what happened later that night. Our landlady sent us a text message right before midnight. She told me that the new tenants for our apartment would like to buy our old furniture. However, they wanted everything but our bookcases. After receiving the text message, I was quite lost. This was because everything else actually belonged to landlord; we only owned the bookcases. Later, the landlord explained to me that she had messed up. What the new tenant told her was they wanted nothing but the bookcases.

哈利路亞 ! 感謝主 !!!

Halleluiah! Praise the Lord!!!

在之前收到的30幾條注意事項中，提得最多的是有關清潔的。這其中包括了把冰箱拖離原地，打掃原先被冰箱覆蓋的地面和冰箱的背面。還有就是把灶台也拖離原位，打掃灶台下的地面。我按照要求挪開了冰箱，可是那個灶台是固定在地面上的，根本沒有辦法挪。我打電話跟房東講了，她表示理解。並且告訴我說，如果有搬不走的椅子之類的，可以留下來。聽得我一陣感動。

On the to-do lists that we received, most of the requests were about cleaning. According to the list, we needed to move both the refrigerator and stove away to clean the back of these appliances and the floor under them. I cleaned the refrigerator according to the requirements, but the stove was permanently secured to the floor. I couldn't move it so I called the landlady and reported this problem. Surprisingly, she treated us nicely and said it was O.K. to not move it and that we could leave some chairs behind if we couldn't move all of them. I was very touched by her understanding.

好景不長，隔天她又發短信給我，說是經我打掃過的房間，驗收不合格。還有就是，如果我不把留在那裡的椅子拿走，她就要扣100加幣的押金。我的第一反應是，現在什麼狀況？說不用搬的是她，說一定要搬的也是她。這莫出爾反爾，擺明了在耍我。

However, the day after our conversation, she sent me a text message. In the message, she said she had checked our rooms, but the apartment still had not met her standards. Furthermore, she wanted us to move out all the chairs otherwise she would take $100 deposit from us. I was confused. She was the one who had asked us to leave the chairs. Now she was asking us to move them. How could her requests be so contradictory?

至此，我非常後知後覺地意識到了房東是故意刁難我們的，為的就是要克扣我們的押金。而此時的我每天奔波於溫哥華的舊居與位於高貴林港的新家之間，已經累到筋疲力盡。

By then, I finally realized that the landlady was doing everything on purpose. She made impossible requests so that she could take our deposit. I had been traveling between my Vancouver apartment and my new home in Port Coquitlam every day and I was very tired.

晚上的時候，我跟主說："按照女兒自己的意思，女兒不想爭了。這押金扣一點就扣一點了。然而主啊，這場仗女兒為了您打的。我們一起打個勝仗回來。不但要勝，而且要打個大捷回來。這420塊的押金我是要定了。不但要，而且要她倒找給我們。主啊，你讓她多給我們。我不知道如何行，但是主啊，你一定有辦法的。權柄在她手裡，女兒是無權無勢，但她的權柄從你來，你的恩典夠女兒用。女兒不知道要怎莫把這場仗打勝，女兒只有一顆願做的心。還有，女兒立定心志不退後。女兒不退後，女兒不要退後。我奉主耶穌基督的名是求——阿門。"

Later that night, I prayed to the lord, "Dear Lord, I just can't take this anymore. If you let me choose, I would give up the money. I'd rather give them money in return for my peace back. However, dear Lord, you know that I am doing all these things for you. I am fighting this battle for you. We are going to win this batter together. Not only that, we are going to have a remarkable victory. We are going to take the full deposit back. Lord, not only that, you make her give me more than the $420 deposit back. You can do that. I don't know how you can make it, but I know you have the power to do so. Dear Lord, I don't have any power. The landlady is that one who seems to hold the power. But her power is from you, and your grace is more than enough for me. I don't know how to win the battle but I have a heart that is willing to follow in your steps. Dear Lord, I am determined not to step back. I am not going to shrink back. I don't want to shrink back. I pray in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen"

在那以後的幾天裡，我的日子並不好過。勝利並沒有一蹴而就，可我的心裡滿有的是那主已得勝、全然得勝的平安。我和小周最後把全數的押金都拿回來了，加上對方買書櫃的錢，正好是加幣435元整。

In the days after that prayer, my life did not get any easier. Victory didn't come overnight, but I was filled by peace despite the circumstances. In my heart, I know that God has the victory in hand, and He had everything in His control. In the end, my friend and I got our full deposit back. Together with the sale of the bookcases, the landlord gave us $435.

事後，小周跟我說，押金能全數拿回來，她也沒有想到。可是，我跟她說，我是想到的。

With the money in hand, my friend told me that getting full deposit back was beyond her expectations. However, it was totally within my expectations.

呵呵，如果你是我的話，你也是能想到的吧？！

If you were me, it would also be within your expectations, right?

又怎麼會想不到呢？

How could it be any other way?

很多人問過我，你怎麼知道你所信的那個神是真的呢？

There are many people who have questioned me. They are wondering how I knew that I had believed in the one true God.

因為他在《聖經》寫給我的話，都在我的日常生活裡面一一應證了呀

My answer is the following: What He has told me in Bible is the same as what I am experiencing in my life every day.

呵呵，一句也沒有落空......

No more, no less ...