作者：李凱琪 翻譯：小米

在我 11 歲那年的夏天，我和媽媽一起在深圳的大梅沙海裡接受了洗禮。在很多人眼裡，11 歲無疑該是個無憂無慮的年紀，但是那時候的我卻已經體會到了尋常孩子不曾經歷的刻骨銘心，真心實意地選擇了歸於主懷。

一切還要從頭說起。從我記事開始，爸爸的身體就一直很弱。因為心臟的問題，他開車時沒一會兒就要停下休息。有一次在公園裡的時候，他甚至毫無預兆地就暈倒了。為了治病，他專程從深圳去到北京探訪名醫；可是等他走遍全國，卻發現就連最好的醫生，都沒有辦法治愈他。不僅如此，他們甚至連他的病因都找不出來。因為爸爸的病，家裡的氣氛總是很沉重。因為病痛的折磨，爸爸的脾氣總是不好，媽媽和外婆把所有的時間和精力用來照料爸爸，而我為了給父母減輕負擔，變得很自立。可與此同時，我也變得很憂鬱；我總是擔心突然有一天爸爸就永遠離開我們。

有一次，爸爸又因為身體不適住進了醫院，這一次，他一個星期都睡不著覺，精神和體力都到了崩潰的邊緣。在這時候，他的一位朋友來探望他，建議他去教會看看。那時的爸爸，願意為了睡上一覺接受任何幫助。於是，他便隨著朋友來到了一間教會。

那是一個星期三的晚上，教會裡的詩班正在練習。爸爸坐在那裡，聽到了讚美神的歌聲，他被深深地打動了，他的心裡有了從未有過的平靜。牧師看到爸爸，便前來寒暄，爸爸把自己的情況詳細地告訴了他。聽了爸爸的情況，牧師問：“那你願意接受耶穌基督為你的救主嗎？” “我願意” 爸爸很肯定地回答。

那天晚上，在禱告之後，爸爸終於平靜地進入了夢鄉。這次經歷深深地觸動了爸爸，於是他非常想要更多地認識這位神。他開始每週都帶著我們一家去教會。

當時我還很小，但一天天看到爸爸身上的改變，我感到很快樂。自從我們一家人認識了神，家裡少了爭吵，少了陰霾。主耶穌不但為爸爸，也為我們一家都帶來了前所未有的信心和喜樂。

這幾年，爸爸的身體漸漸好轉。儘管仍然沒有一般人那樣強壯的體格和旺盛的精力，但他懂得了在軟弱中榮耀神。爸爸說：“我很感謝神給我這樣的身體，因為這樣的身體，我比別人在生活上更節制。下了班就回家，可以有很多時間和家人在一起。更重要的是，我因著這樣的身體而認識了神，並且可以用自己的經歷為主作見證。”

這一切讓我想起腓力比書 4章11-13節的經文： “我並不是因缺乏說這話；我無論在甚麽景況都可以知足，這是我已經學會了。我知道怎樣處卑賤，也知道怎樣處豐富；或飽足，或飢餓；或有馀，或缺乏，隨事隨在，我都得了秘訣。我靠著那加給我力量的，凡事都能做。”

Fall Asleep -- a testimony from Cathy Li

Written by Cathy Li Translated by Naomi

It was in the summer. I was 11 years old. My mom and I got baptized in Dameishahai, Shenzhen. To many people, an 11-year-old girl is someone that doesn't have anything to worry about. She should happily enjoy her childhood. However, it was at that age that I experienced something so deep that I was driven to the protection of Lord Jesus.

For as long as I could remember, my dad's health condition had always been very poor; it was so bad that he had to stop driving. This is because his heart is very weak. One day, when we went to a park together, he suddenly lost conscious. In order to find healing, he travelled all over the China and consulted with all the famous physicians. However, even the best doctor couldn't help him. No one could diagnose the cause of his illness. Because of my dad's poor health, my family was under severe stress. Because of his illness, dad had very bad temper. My mom and my grandma spent all their energy taking care of my dad. I didn't want to add any extra pressure to my family, so I became very Independent. Meanwhile, I also became more and more gloomy. I was always afraid I would lose my dad soon.

There was one week in particular when dad was so sick that he had to stay in the hospital. He couldn't sleep for one week, and he was about to collapse both mentally and physically. At that time, his friend suggested that my dad to go church. Dad was willing to try anything as long as it could help him sleep. He went to a church with his friend.

That day was a Wednesday. Church choir was practicing. Dad was sitting there, and he was moved by the worship songs. He was deeply touched by all the music made for praising God. There was peace that he had never experienced before and it filled him up. The pastor later came and talked to my dad. My dad began to share about his struggles. By the end of their conversation, the pastor asked him, "Are you willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?" My Dad said with confidence, "Yes, I am willing to." At that night, after they prayed together, my Dad was finally able to sleep.

My dad was touched deeply by this first encounter with God. He eagerly sought God. He wanted to know the Lord more. He took all of us to church weekly.

I was very little at the time, however, when I saw the change in my dad every day, I was very happy. After our family got to know the Lord, we stopped fighting with each other. We stopped feeling depressing. Lord Jesus didn’t only bring my dad peace but also filled my whole family with faith and joy.

These past few years, dad has been getting healthier. It is true that his health is still weak, and he is not strong and energetic. However, he has learned to glorify God in his weakness. Dad once said, “I thank God for giving me such a body. Because of my poor health, I learned to live a more self-controlled life. I learned to go home right after work.

Because of all these, I can spend more time with my family. Most of all, I am able to know God and take my life experience as a living testimony for the Lord.”

The story of my Dad reminds me Philippians 4:11-13: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”