悲傷的父母

作者：Evelyn O. Shih   中譯：以恩

當耶穌 12 歲時，祂和父母去耶路撒冷過逾越節。在回家的途中，祂的父母找不到祂，因為祂留在聖殿裡，坐在教師中間，一邊聽一邊問。後來祂的母親找到祂，對祂說："我兒，為什麼向我們這樣行呢？看哪，你父親和我傷心來找你！"（路加福音2:41-48）

我不禁因為馬利亞如此反應而感到好笑，雖然她被神揀選並受到極大的祝福而成為耶穌肉身的母親，但是原來她也像我們這些普通的媽媽一樣的。一開始，她很自我中心，她本來應該先問：你到哪裡去了？你肚子餓嗎？過去的三天裡，你睡在哪裡？有人給你食物嗎？但是她一開口就說："為什麼向我們這樣行呢？看哪，你父親和我又著急又傷心在親友中找你！" 意思是，"每一次我們問人家，你有沒有看到我們的兒子，人家就用輕蔑的語氣教訓我：你在出發前怎麼沒先看好你兒子？現在都過了一整天，你才發現兒子不見了？你是怎麼當媽的？"

父母的愛是有限的，尤其是在感到在人前沒有面子時。特別是我們華人，經常如此罵孩子："別讓我們感到羞恥！" 因此孩子們覺得努力讀書，不是為了要接受高等教育，而是要讓父母高興。同樣的，他們的好行為不是為了要建立一個好的道德觀念，而是為了讓父母可以感到驕傲，可以到處跟人講。倘若我們是浪子的父親，最多只能偷偷地把浪子接回家，絕對不會開大宴會歡迎他回家。

第二，馬利亞在沒有問清狀況時就責備耶穌。約瑟和馬利亞都曾經直接得到神的啟示，耶穌是神的兒子，也是救主彌賽亞。他們是神所託付，是照顧耶穌的監護人。所以當耶穌回答："豈不知我應當以我父的事為念嗎？" 他們應該記起他們的身份而立刻讓耶穌繼續留在聖殿裡，就像撒母耳的母親哈拿所做的那樣。他們沒有讓耶穌留在聖殿，耶穌也順服他們，跟他們一起回到拿撒勒。

當然，我們的兒女不像耶穌那麼特別，但是我們的身份和耶穌的父母是一樣的，我們只是神所指定的監護人，為了要照顧祂賜給我們的兒女。我們應該明白並支持他們的興趣和對生命的追求。我們應該以一個旁觀者的心態去幫助他們，去認識他們真正的生命之父，使他們能和祂建立關係。如此，我們就不必做傷心的父母，而能成為喜樂和蒙福的父母。

The Sorrowful Parents
Written by Evelyn O. Shih

When Jesus was twelve years old, he went to Jerusalem with his parents for the feast of the Passover. On their way home, the parents couldn't find him, for he was still in the Temple, sitting among the teachers, listening and asking questions. The mother found him and said at once "Son, why have you treated us this? Your father and I have been anxiously (sorrowfully-KJV) searching for you.".

I couldn't hold myself from chuckling of this mother, who turned out to be a normal mother just like us, although she had been chosen and greatly blessed by God to be Jesus' physical mother. At first, she was self-centered. Her first word should have been: How have you been? Are you hungry? Where did you sleep for the last three days? Who gave you food? But instead, she said: Why have treated us like that? You made us anxiously and sorrowfully search for you among relatives and friends. Every time when we asked "have you seen our son?" would get a sneering response or some lecturing: Why didn't you assemble your family before you started your trip back? Now, after a whole day, you are just becoming aware that you have lost your son? What kind of parents are you?

Parental love is limited when it comes to face-losing. Especially we, Chinese, don't we often scold our children with: Don't you even put us in shame! So the children get the impression that doing well in studies is not to get a good education but to please the parents. The same with their behavior, it is not for a moral standard but to give the parents something to brag about. If we were the prodigal son's father, the most we could do was to accept him secretly at home; absolutely no welcome feast.

Secondly, she blamed her son before she tried to understand the situation. Joseph and Mary had both been revealed directly from God that their son would be the Son of God, the savior. They were only God's steward to take care of the child. So when Jesus said "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house? They should remember their positions and leave Jesus in the Temple right away, just like what Samuel's mother, Hannah did. They didn't and Jesus went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.

Of course, our children are not as special as Jesus, yet our position are the same as Jesus' parents, merely stewards appointed by God to take care of our children. We should understand and support their interest and goals of life. We just stand aside helping them to realize who their real Father in order to have direct connection with Him. In this way, we won't be sorrowful but happy and blessed parents.