Home昔日真理報2012年 真理報文章2012 年 1 月【特稿】是誰綁架了孩子?

【特稿】是誰綁架了孩子?

 

是誰綁架了孩子?是壞人?是壞蛋?是綁匪?統統不是。那末是誰?告訴你:是孩子的父母!

這確實是匪夷所思,出乎人們意料的。父母怎麼能綁架自已的孩子呢?但確實如此-父母"綁架"的不是孩子的身體,而是孩子的靈魂,是他們的思想與自由。

父母對孩子的愛,是任何的愛所無法比擬的,俗語說:"可憐天下父母心"。他(她)們愛的最終目標是:自已的孩子能"出人頭地",幻想"望子成龍"、"望女成鳳"、"光宗耀祖",所以,希望孩子門門功課第一,名列前茅,琴棋書畫樣樣精通,認為"萬般皆下品,唯有讀書高","書中自有黃金屋,書中自有顏如玉",總之一句話:為了達到父母心中的願望,自孩子呱呱落地一刻起,他們的一生,就被父母"綁架"了。希望孩子將來到"北大"、"清華"就讀,畢業後出國到"哈佛"深造,他的前途全由父母作主。

有一位從中國到澳洲深造的姐妹分享時說:自幼我在中國長大,在我成長的歲月中,父母已經從學前班開始,直到上大學、出國深造、找工作,甚至結婚成家都已經計劃安排妥當。從第一天背上書包開始,父母一直伴著我,衣來伸手,飯來張口,他們為我選擇學校,選擇課程。課餘、節假日最為忙碌,他們為我安排了各種鋼琴、小提琴、書法、繪畫、舞蹈、刺繡、音樂、游泳等等,各種補習班,晚上陪我做功課(其實是怕我不做作業,是監督我),總生怕我落在別的孩子的後面,給他們丟臉,從不理解子女的理想與追求,不給我們一些空間以自由發揮我們自巳的愛好與特長。而家長間的談話內容,就是:"我的孩子是如何如何的優秀","功課成績是如何如何的拔尖"之類,與同齡孩子攀比,以顯示他們本身是如何優秀。直到大學畢業時,我從末享受到童年、少年時代的生活樂趣,看到眼前幼年的孩子無憂無慮天真爛漫童真的形態,我真不知道自己是怎麼長大的。一朝一夕,悠悠歲月,言必恭敬聽。順從父母的旨意,去完成他們的理想(不是我的理想),甚至大學畢業找工作,成家立業找對象,也由父母一手包辦。

她長長地嘆了一口氣,最後說:"我對於個人的生活起居(如洗衣、整理床鋪、打掃衛生、做飯等),自幼至今,還不能完全自理,更缺乏人與人之間的溝通能力。有一次,同學問我:"一個人不好說,二個人不能大聲說,三個人不能說,這是指什麼?"。我啞言,她說:是"悄悄話"。自到澳洲後,看到這裡的學生自理生活的能力、思想自由度、個性的成熟,都比我們優勝。東、西方之文化差距是如此顯著、強烈。我曾在國內看到有的同學無法忍受有的父母這樣的"愛"(綁架),而悄悄地離開了這美好的世界,造成了無法想像的人生悲劇。

我們對孩子的愛護是給他們自由還是"綁架"?孩子的順從是否是出於"無奈"?對待孩子應抱什麼態度?這是為人父母對孩子值得深思的原則問題。

聖經中說:"你們作兒女的,要凡事聽從父母,因為這是主所喜悅的;你們作父親的,不要惹兒女的氣,恐怕他們失了志氣。"(歌羅西書3:20)神告訴作兒女的要聽從父母的話,尊重父母的決定,滿足父母的願望,絕不能脫離父母的管教。但作父母的也"不要惹兒女的氣,恐怕他們失了志氣。"這就是說:我們不能一味地要求兒女按自已的意圖去行,必須顧及兒女的意念與志向,保護他們的個性,體諒他們的自由意志,引導他們走正確的人生道路。千萬別壓制他們,限制他們,惹兒女的氣,扭曲了兒女的心靈,"只要照著主的教訓和警戒、養育他們"。(以弗所書6:4)


誰"綁架"了孩子?現在也該是徹底松綁的時候了,但孩子們也必須聽從真理的教誨:"你們作兒女的,要在主裡聽從父母,這是理所當然的。要孝敬父母,使你得福,在世長壽,這是第一條帶充許的誡命。"(以弗所書6:1-3)(寄自澳洲阿得雷德)

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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