Home昔日真理報2012年 真理報文章2012 年 8 月【我們的家】你要尊重 妳要愛

【我們的家】你要尊重 妳要愛

 

OurFamily238x141在婚宴中,常聽到的祝福語是甚麼?白頭到老,永結同心!在現今的世代,離婚率偏高。即使能夠白頭到老的夫婦中,又有幾多對能做到永結同心的呢?我知道有不少的夫婦,相處都出現了問題,他們沒有選擇辨離婚手續,大家是否明白我的意思,就是只是一同生活卻沒有真正同心同行,他們的心沒有結在一起。究竟夫婦之間,要怎樣相處,才可白頭到老,永結同心。

聖經裡面講到,神用男人身上的一條肋骨造出女人。神是一個頂級的麻醉師,甚麼藥也不用,就可以令人沉睡。另外,神亦都是一個頂級的外科醫生,祂從亞當身上取出一條肋骨,又在原處將肉合起來。亞當醒了之後,沒有因為這個大手術後而痛到講不出說話,又不會因為麻醉之後不清醒,當神將女人帶到亞當面前時,他還可以為女人命名。

讀到這裡,男士會不會都很開心,因為女人從男人的身上取出來的肋骨而造,連名字也是男人改的。不過,女士們又不需要因此而不開心,因為除了亞當之外,所有的男人都是從女人懷孕而生的。神實在很奇妙,在男和女之間建立了這個平衡機制,沒有分高和低。在實婚姻中也一樣,夫婦的地位都係無分高低。

兩個在不同的家庭環境中長大的人,彼此的生活習慣各有不同,要在一起建立家庭,當中實在有許多問題。兩個人一起生活已經不容易,再加上有了小朋友之後,大家的相處就更加不容易。因為在教導小朋友的問題上,大家都會有不同的意見。一對夫婦如果想白頭到老,永結同心,我覺得夫婦之間的相處,必需要有尊重和愛。作丈夫的,需要太太從愛而來的尊重,作太太的,要有丈夫從尊重而來的愛。

早前貓太有機會作了一次的義工探訪,對像是一對90多歲的夫婦,老太太患了腦退化症,也不良於行,要靠輸椅代步。老先生精神不錯,對太太十分細心和體貼。老先生閒來喜歡寫寫文章、寫寫詩,在他們的家中,張貼了不少丈夫的墨寶。對於要照顧老太太,老先生沒有一點怨言,這從他張貼在家中的文章中可見一二。最令貓太感動的,是老先生寫在一紙扇上的一句話:君子不忘秋後扇,丈夫應惜眼前人。而其他的文章,也提到老先生常想念昔日和老太太花前月下的日子,可惜現在的老太太,很多事情都記不起,老先生沒有因此而對老太太有甚麼怨言。雖然老太太現在不懂尊重他,但他們多年以來所累積起來的感情,使得老先生對老太太仍然充滿尊重和愛。

今日的社會,戀愛都很自由,我們的配偶都是我們自己選擇的,是自己所愛的人。既然如此,為何現今的離婚率會這麼高?是因為現今的社會開放?還是因為現今的離婚手續簡便!我認為這些都不是令人離婚的理由,如果一段沒有問題的婚姻,即或社會如何開放,手續如何的方便,人都不會選擇離婚。

我認為現今的婚姻關係中,正正是缺乏了愛和尊重,人都十分自我,凡事都以自己行先,不是不愛對方,但是不懂得用愛、用尊重來相處。一個家庭,是需要兩夫婦以愛和尊重去建立的,但很多時候大家不懂得表達,而令一個快樂的家庭被破壞。不和諧的相處,除了會影響夫婦二人的感情外,還會影響兒女的成長。

『然而,你們每個人都要愛妻子,如同愛自己一樣;妻子也要敬重她的丈夫。』以弗所書5章33。

作為太太的,幾時才去尊重丈夫呢?太太說:「等丈夫愛我先!」作丈夫的,又幾時才開始去愛太太呢?丈夫說:「等太太尊重我先!」若是這樣的話,太太必定不能得到丈夫完全的愛,而丈夫也不能得到太太的尊重,因為這些都只是期望別人滿足自己。

聖經教導我們,各人都當愛自己妻子,如同愛自己一樣,這種的愛,是沒有條件的,是主動的去做。即或太太不尊重丈夫,丈夫也要愛太太,而即或丈夫不愛太太,太太也要尊重丈夫。因此,做太太的不要對先生說,你愛我,我才尊重你。作丈年的也不能對太太說,你尊重我,我才愛你。

一個家庭,是由夫婦同心撐起來的,如果這個家庭,能夠以神為他們的根基,就更能使這個家庭穩固,以基督為我們家的主,讓祂帶領我們,學習愛和尊重。

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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