| Never Forsaken -- A Testimony from Tracy Cao | 不離不棄 -- 曹馨月的見證 |
| By：Tracy Cao Translated by：Tracy Cao |
作者：曹馨月 翻譯：曹馨月 |
我是一個南京女孩，15 歲的時候去澳門唸書，在那個時候我認識了教會，認識了耶穌。起初，我去到教會，覺得那裡的每個人都很有愛，每週日的講道都很有哲理，所以我願意每週時不時地去一下。但是，無論是在日常生活裡，還是在內心深處都覺得和神沒什麼交集。久而久之，一陣新鮮勁兒過去之後，我開始覺得去教會浪費了我周末的學習的時間，於是找各種理由逃避聚會，頂多像完成任務一樣，去一下學生團契或者主日崇拜。
I originally come from Nanjing: a beautiful city in China. I moved to Macau when I was 15 years old. From that point in time, I started to have some ideas about the Christian church and Jesus. I felt people in the church were generous to share their love to me. Those sermons preached on every Sunday mornings were also full of wisdom. Therefore, I was willing to go to church on weekends when I had nothing else to do. But my heart did not have any in-depth interactions with Jesus and I did not feel Jesus had made any changes in my life. As time passed on, I started to get bored of going to church. I thought it was wasting my valuable study time during the weekends. As a result, I made up several excuses to escape the fellowships, activities and bible studies in the church. Sometimes, when I felt really guilty or when my Christian friends asked me to come back, I would just show up in the youth fellowship or Sunday morning services.
我以為從此以後我會一直頂著掛名基督徒的身份去過日子。直到到了升大學的時候，我信心滿滿地報考了香港中文大學酒店管理系，尤其是當自己寫的答卷被通過，被學院院長邀請去祂辦公室面試的時候，我十分驕傲，覺得自己無需準備，被錄取完全只是時間的問題。可是事實就是，最後我被中文大學無情地拒之門外了。後來，在我媽媽朋友的推薦下我報考了西門菲莎大學（SFU）。按照學校網站上公佈的分數來說，我進文學院是絕對沒有問題的。
I believed my life would keep going in that way. Until the day I started to apply for the Undergraduate Hospitality program in Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK). When the dean of the school of business administration wrote me an e-mail to invite me to go for an interview in his office because of my excellent responses on the written questions, I felt so proud of my ability. I had full confidence that I would definitely be accepted by CUHK without any preparations. Unexpectedly, my admission was denied in the end. Then I applied to SFU upon my Mom’s friend’s suggestion. According to the information on the website, my high school grades satisfied the admission requirement for the faculty of Arts and Social Science.
可是到了七月中，當我已經放棄了其它一些大學的入取通知書時，我卻收到 SFU 的郵件，說是由於來自澳門的成績需要做出一些調整，而我調整後的成績與錄取線相差了 0.7 分，祂們不能入取我。這個消息對我來說猶如晴天霹靂；直到那個時候，我才想到了神，我不停跟神禱告說求神給我一個好的出路，不能讓我沒學上。但最後由於臨近九月開學，在我媽媽朋友的建議下，我只能選擇先去私立的學院讀書，而如果我讀得好，就能重新轉進 SFU。經過這樣一番折騰，我開始對我的人生感到十分的迷茫，我就算做夢也沒曾想過自己會進入這樣一所即使在溫哥華都沒什麼人聽過的學院。我心中甚至暗暗質問神：“這就是你給我的好出路嗎？”
Everything seemed to be perfectly fine and I had confidently given up an admission offer from the University of Macau. Nevertheless, near the end of July, I received an e-mail from SFU. The school informed me that the school had to adjust all the grades from international high schools and my adjusted grade was 0.7 below the admission requirement. This e-mail drew me from heaven to hell. I thought of Jesus, I prayed and asked for a bright future. In our Chinese traditions, I needed to be accepted by at least one university level institution. Finally, because I applied other schools too late, I only could be accepted by a private college in Vancouver. I had never dreamed that finally I was accepted by a small scale college, it is seldom recognized by even the local people. I blamed God: is this the “Bright” future you gave me?
初來溫哥華的日子對我來說是迷茫的。但說來也巧，我的住處附近就是一個教會，而那麼剛好有一個講普通話的學生團契。那時候的我為了尋找人身的方向，就去參加了團契的聚會。記得我在那裡聽到的第一個講道，裡面有這麼一句話：“神破碎你，是為了讓你倚靠神更好地站立起來，為祂所用。” 一聽到這句，我的眼淚就止不住了，心裡有個聲音告訴我，這就是神要對我說的話。從那一刻起，我決定迴轉歸向耶穌，認認真真地重新認識祂。
At the beginning period after I came to Vancouver, my life was undirected. One day, I was walking by a church near where I lived. Somehow I felt just so warm and peaceful when I saw the cross on top of the church building. I just walked in, signed up for a Mandarin Youth Fellowship and hope to find my direction of life. I remember there was a sentence from the first sermon I heard in that fellowship: God breaks you in order to make you stand up again through Him, and be used by Him. When I heard about this, tears came out of my eyes. There was a voice assuring me that the message was what God wanted to tell me. From that point on, I was determined to return to Jesus, to get to know more about Him. In the following days, I prayed, read the bible, and always attended fellowships. I started to feel that I am growing closer to God. Gradually, a girl who was stubborn and proud disappeared.
在接下來的日子中，我用心禱告、讀經、也經常參加聚會。我發現我和耶穌越來越有話說，越來越想親近這位真神。漸漸地我改變了，那個內心驕傲，總是愛鑽牛角尖的我不見了，換來的卻是一個內心平安、常常喜樂、無論順境逆境都充滿感恩的我。雖然花在神身上的時間多了，但是學習卻從沒耽擱，在神的帶領下我出乎意料的轉進了心儀的 SFU 商學院。 2012 年春天，我在威靈頓教會受洗。回看這一路走來，神在我身上所做的一切都是那麼的神奇，充滿著恩典。
God brought me a new life full of joy, peace and grace. Although I spent more time on God, I could still keep an outstanding performance at school. I was even accepted by SFU business school with a scholarship under God’s guidance. I was baptized in 2012 spring. I look back to what God has done in my life: full of His grace.
我們的人生總會遇到很多不盡如人意的事情，但是不要沮喪也不要灰心。只要有信心，只要耐心守候，就一定能看到神在你身上成就的美意。因為主耶穌說過：“我總不撇下你，也不丟棄你”。
There must be so many things which happened unexpectedly in our life, but do not be hopeless and despairing. Being faithful and patient, finally you will see God’s wonderful plan upon you, as he said “Never will I forsake you, never will I leave you.”