| Forgiving my enemies -- A testimony from Jenny Lee | 破繭成蝶 |
| By：Jenny Lee Translated by：Naomi |
作者：李欣芸 翻譯：小米 |
其實我不覺得我有什麼仇敵，就是有不喜歡的人。但聖經說：你們站著禱告的時候，若想起有人得罪你們，就當饒恕他，好叫你們在天上的父也饒恕你們的過犯。你們若不饒恕人， 你們在天上的父也不饒恕你們的過犯。(馬可福音11：25-26)這兩句話，我總覺得是上帝在對我說話。因為之前有人跟我吵架，我就沒再理她了。以往我都是這樣應對的，而且這通常很有效。
I don’t think I have any enemy. However， I do have a few people whom I dislike. In the Bible， it says， “when you stand praying， if you hold anything against anyone， forgive them， so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” When I read this verse， I think God is talking to me. This is because it reminds me a girl who had a fight with me. I haven’t talked to her since the fight. Withdrawing from people has been my first choice when I am facing a problem. It worked well at past.
但這次，那人找上了我的好朋友，我朋友還是會告訴我她的近況 -- 房間長蟲、身上被蟲咬後長了膿包，膿包破了又爛、結疤後又破。她跟室友吵架，房東又要趕她出去；考試過不了，沒學上……但即使這樣，我還是不想理她。我跟上帝說，我想到這個人就頭大，是她自己把我氣走的。可是，我的壓力越來越大、晚上睡不好，早上在公司門口滑倒。手被石頭劃了一道 3 公分的口子。看到手掌上劃開的肉，我傻眼了。我的月票也弄丟了。我覺得問題嚴重了。
However， my first choice was no longer available in this case. It was because the girl turned to my best friend for help. As a result， I heard updates about her from my friend once in a while. Without talking to her directly， I still knew that she was in trouble. There were bugs in her bedroom. The bugs bit her. Her skin got infected because of the bugs. She had another fight with her roommate. Her landlord planned to kick her out. She could not pass a test， so she was not able to register for next semester… You know what? I didn’t care. I told God that it was her choice to fight with me. I didn’t want to think about her at all. However， I felt depressed with her or without her around. I couldn’t sleep well， and I fell down in front of my office. My hand was injured by a stone. Looked at the 3cm cut on my hand， I didn’t know what to do. Later， I discovered that I lost my bus pass as well. I know something serious is going on.
我怪我朋友把那人的負面訊息跟我講，所以我連朋友都不想理。那個週末，我覺得我應該冷靜一下，讓自己得到充足的休息。我不停地跟上帝禱告，問祂該怎辦。我覺得最好的方法是不要去想他們講過的話。那兩天，我把我的體力給睡回來了。
I started to blame my friend for keeping me updated with all those bad news. I no longer want to contact my friend. I stayed home for the weekend. I felt I needed some space to calm down and take a rest. I prayed to the lord constantly. I asked him what to do. I believed that I should leave all the information about those girls behind. During that weekend， I slept a lot， which gained me back a lot of energy.
星期天晚上，我找了一個教會姊妹。她給我的建議是， 她也會有不喜歡的人，但她至少會跟他們聊兩句。她說要保持應有的禮貌，不要講對方的不是，不然我們自己也變得跟那些人一樣了。我一邊聽，一邊思考。
On Sunday night， I went to talk with a Christian sister. She suggested me to keep the friendship with those girls. She told me that she also had interpersonal conflicts. However， she chose to talk with her enemies. She mentioned that it is better to be polite towards them. We shouldn’t talk bad things behind their back. Otherwise， we become someone annoying as well. I was listening to her. I thought about her suggestions.
星期一我晚了一個多小時下班。正要搭車，竟然看到那個人在打電話。我知道，這肯定不是巧合，是上帝要我去面對。因為我們兩個人中誰早了或晚了，就不會遇到。而我上週才在煩惱她的事，前一天教會姊妹才叫我不要逃避。加上我壓力已經沒那麼大了。既然是上帝要我去面對，那我是沒有什麼好抗拒的。
It was on Monday night， I worked overtime. As a result， I left my office an hour later than my regular schedule. When I was about to take the bus， I saw the girl was right in front of me. She was on the phone. I knew it was not a coincidence. This is because we wouldn’t have met each other if either of us passed by sooner. I knew it was God who wants me to deal with our conflicts since the sister I talked to the night before suggested me to keep this friendship. I had been thinking about the girl all the time last week. I didn’t feel as depressed at that particular moment， so I decide to talk with her face to face.
我停在原地盯著她看，自言自語說，“真的是冤家路窄。”她走到我面前，把袖子掀起來，讓我看被蟲咬過的地方，跟我講電話那頭是我朋友，問我要不要講兩句。我就質問我朋友說：“你怎會跟她講電話。”那邊回答： “我雖然知道你不喜歡她，但我從沒答應你不理她阿。”我無可奈何，因為我能感覺到一切都是上帝在作工 -- 要不是她在跟我朋友講電話，我可能會更不知道要講些什麼。
I stared at her. I told myself， “Here comes my enemy.” She walked to me and showed me her arms， which were infected by bugs. She told me that she was calling my best friend. I was so upset. I took the phone and asked my friend， “Why do you talk to her?” My friend answered， “I know you don’t like her， but I never promised you to make her as my enemy.” I didn’t know what to say， and I knew that it was God working in this situation. If the girl was not talking to my friend， I would have had a hard time to start a conversation with her.
掛了電話， 我抱怨了兩句，問她怎會出現在這裡。她就講自己的遭遇，說她本來看到我就想走掉；其實要是沒有前晚的經歷，我也會那樣做。再後來，我跟她一起到她家附近買晚餐，再拿去她家吃，我們總歸是和好了。但是我知道，一切都是靠上帝，因為是我的話，真的不是那麼寬宏大量的個性。
After finishing the phone call， I talked to the girl and asked her about her life in general. She told me how miserable she was. She told me she planned to ignore me when she first saw me at bus station. I knew she was telling me her true feeling. If it was not because my conversation with the sister in Christ， I would do the same thing. And then， I brought dinner and had it at her home. We finally reconciled. It was all because of God who had worked in our life so that we can still be friends. I know who I am. According to my own strength， I will never make it.