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我在很年輕的時候，就患上了心臟病。大夫說我這種情況是不能生小孩的，否則性命不保。後來，我連做夢都想要個孩子，就冒險生下了我的女兒。
女兒是我的寶貝，我視她為生命。她從小乖巧伶俐，人見人愛，而且從小學到高中，都是品學兼優。
當女兒慢慢長大，特別是進入大學以後，她變了，她變得迷茫、頹廢、叛逆、愛頂撞、極端自我。
她問的問題也越來越多，已經遠遠超出了我的回答能力。她總是反復地問：人活著有什麽意思呀？人生的目標在哪裡呢？生命為什麽這麽短暫？人死了是不是一了百了？等等。
我到處去查找資料，求問專家學者，最後歸納出的標準答案是：人活著最起碼要回報家人，進一步的是要報效祖國，更高遠的就是要造福人類。我總是這樣回答她。可是我的答案，解決不了她的疑惑。
女兒出國以後，我更加牽掛。她的安全，她的學業，她的心情，她的一切，無不讓我揪心。如果三天沒有收到她的電話和郵件，我就會胡思亂想、寢食難安。
直到有一天女兒告訴我，她信主了！她說她找到了正確的人生道路，找到了她苦苦追求多年的真理和永恆的生命！她找到了關於生命疑問的全部答案！
女兒有了脫胎換骨、從裏到外的巨變。她學會了孝敬父母、饒恕別人、關心他人、不撒謊、還能主動認錯等等。我們之間的溝通障礙也很快消除了，相處變得輕鬆愉快。
女兒給我講解聖經，建議我每天讀經禱告。
我第一次聽到 "福音"、"重生"、"新生命" 這些詞。雖然還似懂非懂，但是我不由自主地開始反思我的人生。
我內心也感受到了一種很真實的體驗，雖然看不見也摸不著，但好像有一股亮光，自上而下傾泄，照亮了我昏暗、憂慮的內心。我感覺到全身都被一種東西籠罩著。這種感覺無法用語言概括，也是我這幾十年的人生從來沒有體驗過的。
於是，我相信有一種超然的力量存在，我的無神論信仰徹底倒塌了。
逐個原諒仇人
我在親朋好友當中，一直都有良好的口碑，因此我的自我評價也高，認為自己是一個品德高尚的人。可是當我意識到我是個罪人的時候，再回頭看，發現自己原來是那樣的面目可憎──我好攀比、好表現、愛虛榮、會忌妒、論斷人、做假賬、貪小便宜、自私、沒有愛心等等。過往的事情就像幻燈片一樣，一一顯露出來，叫我羞愧難當。
我在公司裏，一直恨我的一位同事。從前她下崗待業的時候，是我為她推薦了這份工作。後來她不仁不義、過河拆橋，以致我們反目成仇、形同陌路。
當我認罪悔改之後，已經從心裏原諒了她。
當我真心原諒別人的時候，就有一種東西從我的心中釋放了出去，讓我感到很舒服、坦然。 主教導我們："你們饒恕人的過犯，你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯。你們不饒恕人的過犯，你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。"主耶穌已經為我們的罪付出了生命的代價，我們沒有任何理由不饒恕別人！
最近，我的一個侄女到北京旅行結婚，想住在我家裏。她試探性地打了電話過來。我當時很不高興，想找藉口拒絕。因為我覺得她以前品行不端，而且沒有良好的生活習慣。我從內心不想接待她。
第二天早晨靈修的時候，一段經文跳入眼簾："我賜給你們一條新命令，乃是叫你們彼此相愛；我怎樣愛你們，你們也要怎樣相愛。"(約翰福音13：34)我看到主耶穌用祂的愛，呼喚可惡的稅吏，憐恤遭人唾棄的妓女，醫治被人遺棄的麻瘋病患。我卻連自己的親侄女都嫌棄！我看到自己愛的缺乏，無地自容。
在上帝的眼裏，我們都一樣，都是祂寶貴的創造，祂喜悅我們彼此相愛。我願意順服神的旨意。於是，我接待了我的侄女。
戰勝各種誘惑
我有一份會計工作，是幫助親戚的學校，管理財產賬目。工作沒有什麽壓力，薪水拿得很輕鬆。在一次查經小組學習的時候，談到做假賬與撒謊的問題，並且閱讀到一段經文，知道撒謊也是大罪。讀到這裏時，我的內心很抵觸，因為做假賬，是這個行業公開的秘密。我以會計職業為生，如果不這樣做，就意味著我將失業。
況且，這份收入對我來說又很重要，因為我生病下崗在家，每月除了 400 元的失業金，再沒有別的收入。
我實在不捨得放棄。可是按照聖經的教導，撒謊就是犯罪。
我天天禱告，求主堅固我的信心。經過一番痛苦掙紮，終於決定放棄這份工作。我知道這是神的作為，離開祂，我是萬萬做不到的。
女兒上大學的時候，我們耳聞目睹了太多的年輕人未婚同居。我和她談論過婚前性行為問題，當時她很不以為然，對這種現象表示理解，既不贊成也不反對。
女兒信主之後，她的看法徹底改變了，因為聖經把婚姻以外的性行為，視為犯罪。
她和男朋友在去年11月份，登記結婚成了合法的夫妻。但是他們彼此承諾，真心持守，一直等到今年的6月舉行婚禮後，他們才住在一起。因為那天才是他們在上帝面前宣誓立約，真正成為夫妻的時候。在這半年的時間裏，他們用信心抵制誘惑，以聖潔的身心走進婚姻的殿堂。
他們之所以能夠做到這樣，是因為他們有一個崇高的信仰作為依託。
我一直認為，女兒是上帝給我的最好禮物，但又歎生命苦短，想到有一天我先她而去的時候，她會多麽痛苦憂傷。想不到上帝給了我更好的，那就是讓女兒和我同得永生！我和女兒不僅只有今生的短暫相依，我們在天國裏也將永不分離！
(本文轉載自澳洲生活月刊 2010 年 1 月，作者現居中國)
Being with my daughter forever
I have suffered from heart disease since I was very young. The doctor said that my life would be at risk if I wanted to be pregnant. But I was so eager to have a baby that I took this risk and gave birth to my daughter.
My daughter is the apple in my eyes. She is as dear to me as my own life. When she was a little girl, she was so adorable that everyone loved her. From primary school to high school, she had always been a good student, achieving excellence both in academic performance and character.
After she grew up, especially after going to university, she changed and became confused, depressed, disobedient, defensive, and very self-centred. She asked me a lot of questions, many of which I could not answer. She always asked me questions such as: why we have to live? What is the purpose of life? Why life is so short? Is it true that death is the very end? I did a lot of research and consulted many people. Then I summarized all the answers and answered her that we live because we should at least pay back the love from our parents. We should serve our country; furthermore, we can try our best to benefit the human race as a whole. I always gave her the same answer when she asked, yet she was still not satisfied.
Then my daughter went abroad to study. I worried even more about her safety, her study, her relationship, and all other things about her. These worries bothered me all the time. If I did not receive her call or email after 3 days, I would become so anxious that I could neither sleep nor eat well, thinking of all the possibilities that bad things would have happened to her.
It went on like this until one day my daughter told me that she was converted to be a Christian! She said she had found the truth and eternity which she had been seeking for so many years! She finally got all the answers to the questions about life!
My daughter has changed greatly from inside and out. She learned how to respect and honor her parents, forgive others, not to lie and apologize. The gap between us soon disappeared. Our relationship has become very pleasant since then.
My daughter shared her understanding of the Bible with me. She also suggested me to pray and study Bible every day.
For the first time, I heard about words such as "Gospel", "Resurrection" and "New life". Although I did not fully understand all these words, they made me think of my own life.
My heart started to feel something that was so true. Although I could not see it or touch it, it was like a beam of light from above, shining in my heart and freeing me from all the darkness and worries. I can feel it all over my body. Words could not describe this feeling. I had never experienced this before.
Because of this experience, I began to believe that there is a power above all things, and my atheism was completely dissolved.
Forgive my enemies one by one
My family and friends have always thought very highly of me. Because of this, I had thought myself to be a very good person with high moral standards. Then I realized I was a sinner. Looking back, I found there were so many shortcomings in me: I had been trying to keep up with the Joneses, showing off what I have, admiring vanity, being jealous of others, judging others by my own standards, cooking the books, being keen on gaining petty advantages, being selfish and uncaring. Scenes of the past leaped before my eyes, revealing to me about my sinful nature. I confessed them before God with shame.
I had always hated a colleague in the office. It was because when she lost her previous job and had been unemployed for some time, I was the one who recommended her to my boss and helped her get her current position. But she was not thankful at all and was wickedly selfish. The friendship between us disappeared, and we became enemies.
After I confessed my sins and repent, I forgave her from the bottom of my heart. When I forgive others, there was something released, and I feel very relaxing and secure. The Lord said, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins." Since Jesus has paid the price of our sins by being crucified on the cross, we do not have any excuse not to forgive others!
Recently, my niece travelled to Beijing for her honey moon. She called me and said she wanted to stay in my home. I was very unhappy when receiving this call, and wanted to find some excuses to refuse her. This was because I thought she did not live a chaste life, nor did she have very good habits. I did not want to accommodate her at all.
When I read the Bible early next morning, a verse was brought to my attention, "A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:34)." In His love, Jesus called the despised tax collectors to Him, and showed His mercy to the prostitutes who were looked down upon by others. Yet I disliked and tried to avoid my own niece! I realized how uncaring I was and felt ashamed about it.
In God's eyes, we are all His precious creation. When we love each other, He is pleased. I wanted to obey the will of God, so I open my home to the niece.
Overcome various temptations
I had an accounting position in the school owned by a relative. My job is to manage the accounts of the school's properties. There is not much pressure, and I could get the salary at ease. In a small-group Bible study, we discussed the issue of presenting the account and lying. I read a verse about lying and knew that it was a great sin to lie. When I came across this, I resisted the teaching in my heart. In accounting, "cooking" the accounts in whatever way is a common practice. This secret is known by everyone. I made a living by doing accounting. If I did not "cook" the book, I would lose my job.
And the salary was important to me as my health condition was not so good. If I was unemployed, I could not live by the limited EI (Employment Insurance). There would be no other income for me.
I really did not want to give up this job. Yet according to the Bible, lying is sin. I prayed constantly and asked God to strengthen my faith. After painful struggles, I finally decided to quit. I knew this was God's will for me. I could not have done this without Him.
By the time my daughter went to university, I had already heard a lot of stories of cohabitations in university. I discussed the issue of premarital sexual relationship with my daughter. At that time, she did not take it seriously at all. She said she could understand those people who chose to cohabit. She did not think it quite right though; she did not think they were wrong.
After my daughter was converted, her opinion changed. In the Bible, any sex outside of marriage is sinful. She and her boyfriend had already got their certificate of marriage for the government last November. The wedding ceremony was held this June. They chose to live together after the wedding ceremony because that was the day when they vowed before God to be husband and wife. In the half year of waiting, they overcome the temptation by faith, and enter their marriage with purity. The reason why they could be holy is they share a holy belief.
My daughter is the best gift from God. I always think so. Sometimes I groaned because life is so short. One day if I pass away she has to bear with the loss and will be in deep grief; but God have given me an even better gift, that is, the eternal life with my daughter! I have never ever imagined this before. My daughter and I will not only love each other in this life, but will be together forever in the heaven!