【非洲異國情】互相問候

 

一位在非洲工作的白人(當地人稱之為" Touba土八"),在當地帶領一個工作隊。一天他的隊員到他辦公室來,他逐一向他們問好,問到一位名叫加連的同事道:「你好嗎?」他早己知道他近日身體不適。加連回答道:「很好,無問題。」他連番也如此地說。這位隊長聽後感到不是味道,滿心認為這位明明在患病中的員工瞪著眼睛,亳不動容地撒謊,他最後禁不住向他吐出一句不滿的話:你是在撒謊。在場的氣氛顯得很緊張,在旁的朋友都感到諤然和氣憤,認為這位Touba的說話如刀似的刺傷了他們,也因加連如此謙和有禮回答後竟受如此的侮辱,實為他抱不平。


在這個場境下,隊長與加連的對話,和在場同事們的反應,很顯然因兩地文化背景差異而出現衝突,彼此有很嚴重的誤解,也說明了隊長在對當地文化不了解之下,帶著自身文化的眼鏡來解讀當地人的說話行為和背後用意。
到底非洲人遇有病痛或問題時,仍然回答無問題和很好時,怎樣解讀這番話?他是否在撒謊?而這隊長道破了他員工的真相時,在旁的員工為何會氣憤和抱不平呢?


互相問安先於一切。非洲人見面談話,在談事務前必須先作一輪問候,也問候對方家裏老幼,甚至他治養的家畜牲口等,這是當地人互表關懷和敬重,是文化情操和體面的表達。這種問安不單限於內容用字 ,也重視彼此感情的交流。「很好,沒有問題」的回答,可有多層含意:我各方面普遍都很好、我雖是患病或遇問題,但我仍支持得到、我很感謝你的關心問候 、或是一種有禮貌的表示等。


從概括到仔細。非洲人談話的習慣看似是兜圈子,先從大體開始而漸至焦點,從概括至仔細。若要求他們即時很直接或仔細回答問題時,便是冒犯。這位隊長可先認識自我文化,他用了自己的西方文化,期望即時收到一個仔細和立刻到位的答案,而非洲人卻從自身文化來反應,帶對方進入先彼此心連心,感情平穩後才踏入正題,不是問非所答,回答模糊,或是在撒謊。


含蓄回答免出洋相。非洲民族都屬害羞文化 Shame Culture。他們對尊嚴受辱比任何利害得失看得更為重要,他們對話是含蓄,重含意過於字句。有些發問,非洲人若回答時感到不安或出醜,他們的答案可有多個可能,或說是「彈性」的答案,至少可幫助他解圍。若因此使他家人的名聲受損時,他雖不會斷然拒絕回答問題,但會有所保留,或給一個概括性的答案。所以雖說沒有問題,但絕非指客觀上沒有問題,而是禮貌體面上先說些好話,安撫對方的心,稍後才改變語氣,面孔和視線轉向一角,語調轉沉,慢慢道出個中的問題。


回避正面衝擊。遇到對方有犯嚴重過失,他們都會採用間接方法或第三者來處理, 而非雙方直接解決,用許多例子和成語說明問題所在,使犯錯者知真情而盡量免去使犯者感到受辱出醜等。固此,隊長出言時正面講出對方的犯錯和真相,便是觸犯了當地文化規則,使在場員工受辱和會造成不可彌補的感情傷害。


某天筆者與一位生有許多子女的牧者談話,問候中不經意地問到他家中有多少子女時,他靜默一會,然而很有愛心耐性地勸教,指出非洲人在談話問候中,不可直接詢問人家中有多少子女。另一次,筆者到一戶穆斯林家中探訪,席地而坐,那時他一個女兒回家暫居。筆者不覺意地詢問她的丈夫在那裏。他女兒沒有回答,而他父親隨後來有愛心提點,指出他們村例中,別人不可隨便詢問婦女們的丈夫到那裏去,特別是丈夫到別處工作,因為這會造成誤解,以為這些婦女己被丈夫拋棄了。若真屬事實,這一問更會使婦女更為難堪。


入鄉隨俗,入境問忌。兩個出自不同文化的人相處工作,若遇誤解或衝突時,在論誰對誰錯之前,必須先有文化差異的過濾,從對方的文化眼鏡看,選擇合乎對方文化和合宜的方式來處理,這有助客觀理解問題的真相和彼此尊重相待,避免因文化無知而衍生更多不必有的問題。

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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