你要安靜!知道我是神!(上)
作者:翁登科 翻譯:小米
我的小兒子路加在讀中學的時候經常頭痛,家庭醫生建議他吃止痛藥。可是他在吃了藥後一點效果也沒有。在那之前不久,他的好同學剛病逝,之後另一位好朋友也搬去了外省市,再後來他跟一個鄰居小孩成為了至交。可是對方卻把路加的心事到處宣揚,還與別人聯合起來嘲笑他,這使路加很受傷,感覺自己被出賣了!經受好友的離世、搬家、反目等一連串變故,路加深受打擊!他變得越來越自卑。再加上他的頭痛一直沒有緩解,他的心情變得非常消沉。
他長期服用止痛藥,喝好多水都沒有辦法止渴﹔有時他喝太多水,肚子太脹,還會把肚子裡的東西吐出來,並且他在吃了飯以後還是會餓,可是對於這些奇怪的症狀,醫生束手無策。醫生認為頭痛是心情焦慮引起的,於是路加一連服了好幾年治療焦慮症的藥,可是頭痛、口渴的情況還是沒有緩解。這時候,他的痛苦已經到了讓他無法忍受的地步。他覺得沒人能了解他,又認為醫生幫不了他,於是他開始拒絕求醫。長期服用焦慮症的藥物還產生了副作用,他為此受盡折磨,甚至產生了輕生的想法。
路加的病一連好幾年都毫無起色。有一天,他的臉忽然腫得像球、身體非常虛弱,經過檢查後發現是甲狀腺低下。2013 年 4 月 6 日,在我們等著接受醫生的進一步檢查時,路加忽然頭痛得倒在地上打滾, 一度喪失了視覺能力、並且不斷嘔吐,於是我們趕緊將他送到醫院看急診。經過頭部掃瞄之後發現,路加的腦袋裡有一顆 2 公分的惡性腫瘤,我們這才終於明白,原來之前的頭痛、口渴、饑餓等症狀都是腦瘤造成的。惡性腫瘤長期壓迫腦丘及腦下垂體,造成內分泌失常,進而產生了種種奇怪的症狀。
那天,我非常無助﹐我跪下來向神禱告﹐祈求祂能救救我兒子。我當時的心情難過得無法形容,於是在網上看《荒漠甘泉》。當我點出《荒漠甘泉》的網頁,看到上面寫著 “你要安靜!知道我是神。”這句話很短,卻很奇妙地讓我的心裡充滿了平安。我感覺神在向我說,“放心!我都知道,我時刻掌權,我來處理。”
更奇妙的是,隔日我收到一封電子郵件,是一位基督徒朋友寄來,信上短短幾個字寫著,這是神要對你說的話: “你要安靜﹐知道我是神。” 這令我很驚訝!因為對方並不知道我就在前一天剛看到過這句話。
路加在醫院裡連續接受了腦部切片手術、化療及放射治療。他發生過數次癲癇、中風。我們夫妻非常驚慌!我們一邊求神拯救,一邊不斷默想著 “你要安靜﹐知道我是神” 這句話,期盼神的大能。
記得他被轉到重症緊急治療病房時,醫生告訴我們: “如果再過一兩天,路加的病還是沒有起色,我們就要放棄治療了。你們家屬要先有心理準備。” 我們當時好傷心﹐好害怕﹐ 一直向神祈求!我們在慌亂中迫切地禱告。那時候,我們兩個又同時在《荒漠甘泉》的不同頁面讀到了那句話-- “你要安靜﹐知道我是神。” 這句話的出處是 “聖經” 的詩篇 46 篇第 10 節,“你們要休息,要知道我是 神!我必在外邦中被尊崇,在遍地上也被尊崇。” 上帝知道我們那時候的恐懼、無助和疲憊!當我們難過得不知該怎麼辦時,神在不同時間,一共三次用這句話提醒我們,安慰我們。
Be still, and know that I am God!-- A Testimony by Tengkoweng Weng (Part 1)
Written by Tengkoweng Weng Translated by Naomi
I have two sons. Luke is the younger one. When he was in high school, he often had headaches. Our family doctor recommended taking pills to suppress the pain. Despite taking medication, his headache worsened. Shortly before that, Luke’s best friend had just passed away. And then, another friend moved out of the province. Eventually, he became good friends with another boy in our neighbourhood. Luke shared his stories with this boy, but this boy only made fun of him. Even worse, a few kids from our neighbourhood got together and laughed at Luke. This made Luke very sad and he developed low self-esteem. Because of all these struggles, Luke felt that he was betrayed.
Meanwhile, his headache never stopped. By now, Luke was getting depressed. He took pills constantly. He felt thirsty all the time. Even if he had a lot of water to drink, he still didn't feel satisfied. Sometimes he felt sick from drinking too much water. He was also hungry all the time. No matter how much he had eaten, he was still hungry. Our family doctor had no clue on how to help Luke. He asked us to visit a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist thought Luke’s illness was caused by anxiety. In order to release the anxiety, Luke continued taking more pills for the next several years. However, his headaches, thirst and hunger remained. He was very hurt mentally and physically. He lost faith towards his doctor and refused to see any other doctors as well. He was suffering so badly he thought of committing suicide.
Luke’s health had not been improved for years. Suddenly, one day, his face was swollen. His head looked like a ball. He was very weak. After taking a few medical tests, Luke was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. We then booked another appointment with the doctor for further testing. However, Luke had severe headache on April 6, 2013. It was so bad he was rolling on the ground. He lost his eye sight. He kept throwing up. We quickly took him to emergency. After scanning his brain, the doctors discovered a tumour. We were told that Luke had brain cancer. Now we understood that it was the tumour that caused his headaches, hunger and thirst.
I felt so helpless and hopeless. I kneeled down and prayed to the Lord Jesus. I asked his help to save my son. My heart was so heavy that no words could ever describe my feelings. I didn’t know what to do, so I read
While in the hospital, Luke received brain surgery, chemotherapy and Radiation therapy. During these treatments, his body suffered seizures and strokes. Both my wife and I were very worried! We sincerely asked God for help. We kept meditating on the verse, “Be still, and know that I am God”. We hoped with all of our heart for the almighty power from the Lord.
When we were in the hospital, the doctors told us, “If Luke doesn’t get better in a few days, we will have to stop giving him further treatments. You and your families need to be prepared.” We were so sad. We were filled with fear. All of us kept praying. We prayed continually. And then, both my wife and I read the same verse on the different pages of