Home昔日真理報2015年 真理報文章2015 年 1 月【夫妻同心】萬水千山總是情

【夫妻同心】萬水千山總是情

 

「某年某月的某一天,就像一張破碎的臉,難以開口道再見,就讓一切走遠;這不是件容易的事,我們卻都沒有哭泣,讓它淡淡的來,讓它好好的去。到如今年復一年,我不能停止懷念,懷念你,懷念從前;但願那海風再起,只為那浪花的手,恰似你的溫柔。」

這是蔡琴廿幾年前的一首老歌「恰似你的溫柔」,如果婚姻走到這地步,要在許多年後才懷念對方的溫柔,那不是很傷感嗎?

最近我們才從家庭更新協會舉辦的「恩愛夫婦營」回來不久,三天兩夜緊湊的課程,相信留給每對夫妻有深刻的感受。我們以前也參加過許多婚姻講座,但恩愛夫婦營是非常不一樣的,這是一個注重「練習」過於「聽課」的營會,現場實際運用所學的,對學員而言,這是一個挑戰,但也是能在情感上有所突破的機會。其它像不能帶電腦,而且限制只能夫妻兩人參加,不准有小孩隨伴而行。聽起來好像太嚴厲了,但是如果允許孩子也一同參加, 萬一孩子吵鬧時,一定會影響父母親,就不能專心上課了。

家新所選擇的旅館讓妻子非常的滿意,不論是房間的擺設,或是大廳的裝潢,都在製造一個羅曼蒂克的感覺與氣氛,有些夫妻都覺得他們好像在度第二次蜜月旅行一樣。雖然我們離海邊大概有十分鐘的路程,但因為課程的安排緊湊,以至於我們不能去看夕陽西下,可是我們沒有任何一點遺憾,因為在課堂上所經歷的,是超出我們所期待的,而且讓人重新思考婚姻的意義。

參加恩愛夫婦營最大的收穫是,在我的情感世界裏,還有許多感受未曾對妻子表達出來。雖然這兩年來我有許多的改變,但是發覺還是不夠多。生命的成長是一個緩慢過程,進步得比較慢,但藉這三天下來的卿卿我我,深度的談情說愛,相信可以加速改變我的氣質,成為更有內涵、情感的「白馬王子」,成為妻子心目中理想伴侶。

恩愛夫婦營在「教」些甚麼呢?其實﹐如果你曾經聽過邱清泰博士及其夫人余竹君女士的婚姻講座,那你就不會對課程內容感到陌生。恩愛夫婦營與其它婚姻講座最大不同點是,夫妻可以在課堂上立刻練習所聽到的。帶領夫妻每講完一個單元,就把學生分成小組,馬上讓夫妻練習所聽的。這對許多人來說,可能不太習慣,從小的教育裏,上課就是專心「聽」,不問問題,不發表意見。一開始,也許會讓有些人頓時舌頭打結,一句話要結結巴巴的很努力才說得完。口齒不伶俐的我,卻變得有千言萬語,但不知從何說起的感覺。

如果你很好奇到底我們聽到什麼呢?那請你趕快報名參加家新恩愛夫婦營。但我要先好意的「警告」你,夫妻營目的不是要解決你們夫妻一至二十年所有的「新仇舊恨」,或是評論誰對誰錯,誰有理,誰無理取鬧的地方。恩愛夫婦營不是一夜之間,就能改變你們不好的關係,但它教導夫妻一些溝通技巧,讓你們有一些「工具」可以使用。美滿的婚姻須要兩人一起努力營造,只有兩人一起願意嘗試,才能改變婚姻品質。

還有,參加恩愛夫婦營要付出代價的 : 第一,要保留三天的時間;第二,夫妻必須一同參加,不能早退;第三,要找人照顧孩子;第四,要付報名費和旅館費用;第五,也是最難的一點,夫妻要有開放的心,彼此都願意有所改變。

是不是三天恩愛夫婦營後,就一切結束,每對夫妻就「放牛吃草」,看各人的造化了嗎?不,家新會安排有一年的跟進課程,讓幾對夫妻能每月再聚集在一起,彼此討論分享,複習所學到的功課。所以很重要的,你要盡量選擇離你居住最近的恩愛夫婦營參加,或者你可以邀請另外三或四對同城市的朋友或教會的夫婦一起去,這樣營會後你們就可以成為一個支持小組,而且一年後還可以參加下一個進階營─夫婦進深營,又可以讓你們夫妻感情更上一層樓。

參加營會後, 你會發覺這一生最愛你的人就是你的配偶,但被我們傷害最深的也是我們的配偶。如果你願意付出任何代價來改善你的婚姻生活,那不論你是否是基督徒,你都可以走出婚姻的瓶頸與苦海。參加恩愛夫婦營,可以重燃愛火,重新立志,婚姻是一生一世,彼此相愛,彼此互相扶持。

走過婚姻千山萬水,才發現我最親愛的妻子,是我一生最愛的人,也是最愛我的人。

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

Go to top