【教養兒女】蓋棺定論

 

Parenting最近有機會跟一位國內的老姐妹通電話,我們好久沒有接觸過啦,姐妹比我大兩三歲。這位姐姐提醒我要有晚節,不然的話,付上了那麼多,到頭來落得個空跑,這確實是個暮鼓晨鐘的提醒。人老了,很容易就放鬆自己,沒有提防,一下子就從自己堅固的地步墮落了﹐我們見到多少名人就是有這樣的問題。

這種情形,也不但是名人,我們一般普普通通的人,也有可能如是。重則身敗名裂,眾叛親離,孤零零地了此殘生。也有老的時候,終日吐苦水,怨天尤人,誰都批評,只會念念不忘過去的日子,對別人自然毫不留情地惡意攻擊,連自己的兒女也看得一無是處。這種人,真正是人見人怕﹐結果是帶著一肚子的氣進入棺材。很可惜的是,有不少這兩種人,可能還是曾經熱心侍奉主的呢!

不久以前,新聞就有一位一百歲的老人家,不知道為什麼,把他八十幾歲的妻子殺死了。醫學上,很知名的老人痴呆症的一個現象是:這個人清醒的時候,脾氣個性如何,痴呆了之後,常常他的脾氣個性就好像冰封在那個狀態。換句話說,這個人本來是高興的,痴呆了之後,人家如何罵他,他都若無所知,還是笑瞇瞇地高興。

同樣地,是壞脾氣,是多疑,是好批評,是容易懼怕,是消極悲觀,老人痴呆了之後,這人有可能就停留在那個情緒的狀態裡面,跟現實完全脫節,被困在一個可憐的內心世界﹐旁邊的人無論如何解釋開解,都無助於事。年輕的,可以不預早做心理準備,學習有個快樂的人生觀,老的時候不必把自己困在痛苦的心情裡面?

討舊賬

創世記50章記載了聖經先祖的最後階段。先是雅各死了,約瑟遵命把他的棺木帶回迦南地,葬在亞伯拉罕在麥比拉洞的墳墓裡。雅各走了他一生的途程,就安息了。可以說是極盡哀榮,接著是約瑟要面對自己的終極。

「約瑟的哥哥們見父親死了,就說 ,『或者約瑟懷恨我們,照著我們從前待他一切的惡足足地報復我們。』他們就打發人去見約瑟,說『你父親未死以先吩咐說,你們要對約瑟這樣說,從前你哥哥們惡待你,求你饒恕他們的過犯和罪惡。如今求你饒恕你父親神之僕人的過犯。』他們對約瑟說這話,約瑟就哭了。他的哥哥們又來俯伏在他面前,說,我們是你的僕人。」(創世記50:15-18)

約瑟奉養了他的哥哥們全家已經有十七年了,他跟他們相會的時候,又是那麼地真情畢露。誰知道父親一死了,他們就以小人之心度君子之腹,以為約瑟會懷恨他們,報復他們,還得要拿死了的爸爸出來。其實雅各有沒有這樣吩咐,我們也不得而知。又講得好聽,不但是神的僕人,也是約瑟的僕人,把神這個大帽子抬出來,人生的百態就是如此。自然約瑟還是佔上風,他們只好乖乖地來俯伏在約瑟面前。但是我們比較常見到的卻是,惡人先告狀。

好意惡意

問題是,無論別人的存心如何,對一個屬神侍奉神的人,神都能夠把它變成好意。所謂因禍得福,神能夠把咒詛變成祝福。約瑟一輩子就是有這樣的信心和肯定,所以他可以無論怎樣的光景,都忠心耿耿地幹神給他的工作。別人說你什麼話都好,只要我們有神清楚的命令,踏進神所開的門,我們可以勇往直前地走下去,神會替我們負責任的。約瑟到了臨老的時候,還是抱著同樣的心態,並不會因為哥哥們虧心,而改變他的態度,也不會有不高興的反應,他還是照樣地愛他們。只有一樣,就是他覺得太過可惜,他的哥哥們會有這樣的心態﹐約瑟只有嘆息地哭了。

「約瑟對他們說,『不要害怕,我豈能代替神呢?從前你們的意思是要害我,但神的意思原是好的,要保全許多人的性命,成就今日的光景。現在你們不要害怕,我必養活你們和你們的婦人孩子。』於是約瑟用親愛的話安慰他們。」(創世記50:1—21)

就如約瑟一向的態度,正像當初他拒絕主母的引誘的時候,他不敢得罪的是神。如今,他也是強調他不能代替神。順服神的意思,接受神的意思原是好的—這是人生快樂的一個大秘訣。所以他並沒有責備哥哥們多事,冤枉了他,他也沒有把哥哥們好好地教訓一頓,他卻用「親愛的話」安慰他們。

傳遞應許

人生時光無情,最成功的人物也會過去的。約瑟年老的時候,不但留心他的兒子們,更是留心他的子孫,直到第四代。今天多少人,連自己的兒子們都關顧不到,何況第三第四代!除此以外,約瑟最重要的蓋棺定論是重複 神對他們一族的應許,那就是從亞伯拉罕、以撒、雅各所傳承下來的應許:以色列人要回到迦南地。世上看顧我們的人會過去,但是看顧我們的神,永不瞌睡,也不打盹。「約瑟對他弟兄們說,我要死了,但神必定看顧你們,領你們從這地上去,到他起誓所應許給亞伯拉罕、以撒、雅各之地。」(創世記50:24)

在他這個信心的宣告裡,他連自己的骸骨都擺上去。真正信心的宣告必定把自己包括在內。「約瑟叫以色列的子孫起誓說,『神必定看顧你們。你們要把我的骸骨從這裡搬上去。』約瑟死了,正一百一十歲。人用香料將他薰了,把他收殮在棺材裡,停在埃及。」(創世記50:25-26)

有人觀察到,創世記從神創造天地開始,結果是一副棺材停在埃及,充分地表達了人類的墮落。但是對約瑟來說,這副棺材並不是一個終點,是一個信心的宣告,等候神的時候來到。

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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