【夫妻同心】愛帶出改變

 

古詩云:山窮水盡疑無路,柳暗花明又一村。但是更美的倒是:「人的盡頭,才是神的開頭。」

2002 年剛冒出頭來,我早就下定決心要離家出走。可是,還來不及踏出大門半步,午夜電話響起,小女兒接到後告訴我們小兒子出事了,腦部嚴重受傷,生命垂危,正在送院急救途中。小兒子出意外,自己只得暫時擱置離家的念頭了。

小兒子經過腦部手術後昏睡了三個星期,醒來後又再住院差不多四個月。因為我懂得反射及自然療法,從他昏迷開始就每天為他治療。感謝神,他康復的進度也超乎醫生和護士們的預計,故在病房裏有「神蹟男孩」的稱謂。當然我感到高興,他復原了,就可以離家!但他又出新招令我招架不住。

在家療養期間,沒料到小兒子每天都問我一個問題,他說:「爸爸,看起來您跟媽媽還不錯,可是您真的愛媽媽嗎?」我一直避而不答。在他窮追不捨下,終於有一天我老羞成怒,心想:「唉!你這孩子真是......,不懂感激爸爸勞心為你治療,卻想出這樣的問題來挖苦我。」我當時很不高興的回他一句:「我不會答你這問題,也不知怎樣回答。」小兒子哭了起來說:「爸爸,我只不過想幫助您。」我很慚愧,連腦部重傷的他也清楚看出自己的本相。我沒有對他再說什麼,也沒有打消離家的念頭。不過,首次布里斯本的家新恩愛夫婦營很快就要舉辦了。

一對怨偶在小兒子祝福的信箋中去了參加。完全沒有想到在三天兩夜裏,神全面的改變了我對妻子的看法。


原本我覺得我是一個很不幸的男人,非常自卑,妻子和兒女都不尊重我,他們不大願意跟我講話,有什麼事情也沒過問我,甚至從外面回家也不會過來打個招呼,難道我是家中的「透明人」嗎?反觀我的父親,在家、在教會、在村子裏,每個人都尊敬他。媽媽更是對爸爸千依百順,連我們作兒女的也對他景仰萬分。因此,我特別不快樂,認為自己是世上最失敗的丈夫,最沒用的爸爸。再加上移民在澳洲多年也找不到一份好的工作,以為別人瞧不起我,而我潛心學習的多類自然療法,卻因求醫者少,無法真正幫補家計。半生努力得不到別人欣賞,感到無名的失落,同時在家裏做個「透明人」,心裏也不好受,終於醞釀成非離家不可的決定。

如今回顧,我當時的確錯怪妻子,把自己不如意的際遇都歸咎於她,連兒女們對我的冷漠也變成是妻子的過失。不知為何,營會中我已開始感到自己實在對不起她,後悔給她帶來許多心靈上的痛苦,於是鼓起勇氣向她道歉,請求饒恕,願意以餘生來愛護她,實踐二十八年前對她的盟誓。

回到家裏我板著臉對小兒子說:「以後不要再問我愛不愛媽媽!」他吃驚地看著我。接著我和顏悅色的說:「爸爸現在回答你,我很愛妳的媽媽。」他非常欣慰的笑起來。

我感到很後悔廿八年前沒有參加夫婦營,讓妻子受苦廿八年。有一次去一個座談會分享,在會前的晚餐上,有位年輕太太來到我跟前說:「我看出你跟你的愛人(妻子)很恩愛。」我感謝神透過夫婦營尋回我對妻子的愛。另一次回馬來西亞探親,住在好友家中,他的妻子突然對我說:「義聲,你改變了!」我發覺自己怎樣對待枕邊人,無論是熟人或是陌生人,都很快的看得出來。還有一次在子女面前與妻子有一點爭執,之後一個人回房安靜,大女兒竟擔心的哭了起來,怕我生氣離家出走。妻子對大女兒說:「爸爸不會離家出走的,不要焦急。」大女兒還是不放心,妻子轉告我後,連忙去跟她說我還是很愛媽媽的,她這才放心。我很感動妻子信任我,也更明瞭子女多麼盼望父母相親相愛。我可以給孩子們心靈最大的禮物,就是好好的去愛他們的媽媽。

轉眼間,大的三個兒女都先後結婚。除了小女兒不懂中文外,大女兒和大兒子兩對也參加過恩愛夫婦營。正如大兒子在營會中自我介紹說:「看到爸爸的改變,我們也要來參。」我知道真是生命影響生命,比什麼理論、學說、智慧的言語更有說服力。

感謝神拯救了我的婚姻,也幫助我兒女們的婚姻。這是恩愛夫婦營帶給我家出人意外的祝福。

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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