Home昔日真理報2016年 真理報文章2016 年 3 月【教養兒女】好好先生的苦惱

【教養兒女】好好先生的苦惱

 

我是第一個承認自己是脾氣暴躁的人﹐所以當我見到一位溫溫和和的好好先生的時候,我總是很欣賞,也自己覺得相形見絀。好好先生為人溫柔,容易相處。在家庭裡面,對孩子們更是可以帶來一個溫馨的環境。好好先生也可以耐心地和孩子們溝通﹐在教導和學習方面,更是一個好人選。

不過﹐我也經常見到一些好好先生的苦惱﹐特別是見到他們的兒女成長之後的光景﹐我更常常為這種人抱不平。這麼一位好人,有些還是神的僕人,或者是教會中的長老柱石﹐他的兒女如何會離棄神﹐又這樣待他?問題產生在哪裡?有些好好先生的問題是不出聲﹐該說話的時候不說,該站個立場的時候不表態﹐隨波逐流,什麼都可以﹐在教養兒女上,更是可以叫兒女們無所適從。以色列的第一位大祭司,亞倫,就給我這樣的感覺。

能言不言

神都說亞倫是「能言的人」﹐所以差派他做摩西的口。亞倫並不是不能說話的人﹐只是他的個性確實是比摩西溫和多啦﹐在整個摩西五經的記載裡面,亞倫說話都是替摩西傳話﹐他自己說的話很少。雖然他是哥哥,但是他卻甘心地順服神的揀選,做弟弟的助手。我們見到有些人是根本不能說話﹐一說起話來就結結巴巴地,詞不達意。這種人要說什麼話,最好是預先寫下來,不好信口開河,借題發揮。但是如果神都為他做見証的話,亞倫肯定不是不會說話的人。不過聖經幾次記載他說話,都不是太好的。

出埃及的時候﹐自然亞倫說話的時候,摩西都是在場的。所以聖經的記載都是:「摩西亞倫」﹐亞倫就是摩西的發言人﹐他明顯一直是摩西的好幫手。亞倫第一次要自己面對以色列人,是摩西第一次在西奈山上四十晝夜的時候。其實﹐出埃及記19:24,神特別先要摩西帶亞倫自己上山,讓亞倫自己也有親眼見到神的經歷。這個經歷之後,神才向他們頒十條誡命,包括很清楚地在第二條誡命裡面嚴禁造偶像和敬拜偶像。神還給了摩西一些基本的律法,又邀請了亞倫,他的兩個大兒子和以色列的七十二位長老與摩西一同上山朝見神。

「摩西、亞倫、拿答、亞比戶,並以色列長老中的七十人,都上了山。他們看見以色列的神,祂腳下仿佛有平鋪的藍寶石,如同天色明淨。祂的手不加害在以色列的尊者身上。他們觀看神,他們又吃又喝。」(出埃及記24:9-11)這個經歷一點不簡單。

但是神要個別與摩西再相會:「摩西對長老說,你們在這裡等著,等到我們再回來,有亞倫、戶珥與你們同在。凡有爭訟的,都可以就近他們去。」(出埃及記24:14)這是亞倫第一次自己管理以色列人。

縱容的罪

出埃及記32章是一件慘痛的事件:以色列人求要有個神像,亞倫毫無質疑地就造個金牛犢﹐還宣告為耶和華守節。當摩西責備他的時候,他還說: 「亞倫說,求我主不要發烈怒﹐這百姓專於作惡,是你知道的。......我對他們說,凡有金環的可以摘下來,他們就給了我。我把金環扔在火中,這牛犢便出來了。」(22-24節)
亞倫的回答真正是幼稚得可笑﹐好好先生有些時候是天真得好可愛。但是在有關真理立場的時候,這就不可愛也不可笑﹐幼稚的態度可以變成很危險。聖經把這個態度描寫成「縱容」:「摩西見百姓放肆(亞倫縱容他們,使他們在仇敵中間被譏刺),......」(25節)

亞倫縱容的態度,不單單當時候害了百姓,以後也成了以色列分為南北國的時候,北國的耶羅波安陷以色列人在罪裡的那罪的模范:敬拜兩個金牛犢!

禍殃子孫

雖然如此,神還是很寬容亞倫﹐還是命令摩西膏亞倫和他的兒子們為祭司。不過﹐亞倫縱容的態度立刻反映在他的長子和次子身上。利未記9章仔細地記載了摩西如何膏亞倫和他的兒子們為祭司,並且說明只有現任的大祭司可以拿香爐,獻火在耶和華面前﹐哪知道正是亞倫的長子和次子立刻就以身試法。

「亞倫的兒子拿答、亞比戶各拿自己的香爐,盛上火,加上香,在耶和華面前獻上凡火,是耶和華沒有吩咐他們的,就有火從耶和華面前出來,把他們燒滅,他們就死在耶和華面前。於是摩西對亞倫說,這就是耶和華所說,我在親近我的人中要顯為聖,在眾民面前,我要得榮耀。亞倫就默默不言。」(參閱利未記10章)

在這裡,亞倫又是默默不言。自然事情到了如此,還有什麼話可說?問題是﹐事前亞倫有沒有跟兒子們交通過這種人生的大事?有的話,他們有沒有放在心上?

這件事情是對一些不講話,無所謂的好好先生父親們的一個嚴肅的警告。無論是孩子們對重生得救的肯定,神話語的認識,聖經原則的堅持,配偶的選擇,敬拜的慎重﹐養不教,肯定是父之過。縱容在教養上是一個大罪﹐身為人父者,可以不慎哉!

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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