求主加增
作者：K.A.
在委身基督之前，很多慕道友都會好奇："真的有神嗎？" "我怎麼知道基督教所講的內容是真的？" 坦白說，一個人會有這些疑問是很正常的。就算是在我信了耶穌很久以後，我的腦海中也還是時不時會產生類似的問號。然而，要提出這些問題雖然是件很自然的事情，但要給出完整的答案卻並不容易。而且，在我的信仰之旅中，隨著我本身信心的不斷成長，這些問題實際並沒有就此迎刃而解。而就我所知，自己也並不是唯一有此疑問的人。
在《聖經.馬可福音》第9章中，記載了一個故事。在這個故事中，提到過類似的情況。該故事是有關一個父親把他被鬼附的兒子帶到耶穌基督那裡，請主耶穌施以援手。
20.他們就帶了他來。他一見耶穌，鬼便叫他重重的抽瘋，倒在地上，翻來覆去，口中流沫。21.耶穌問他父親說：他得這病有多少日子呢？回答說：從小的時候。22.鬼屢次把他扔在火裡、水裡，要滅他。你若能做甚麼，求你憐憫我們，幫助我們。23.耶穌對他說：你若能信，在信的人，凡事都能。24.孩子的父親立時喊著說：我信！但我信不足，求主幫助。
對於故事中父親的所思所想，我感同身受。我知道他有多麼想要相信耶穌，我也明白在他的心裡有多少的身不由己。我跟他一樣，在內心深處，真心實意地想要信靠耶穌，但是我也常常無奈地發現在自己的心底還隱藏了疑惑、懼怕和許多許多沒有得到解答的問題。而這一切，都阻礙了我扎根耶穌、不斷在主裡成長。那麼到底是什麼導致了這些情況呢？我們又該如何戰勝疑慮？
讓我們回過頭來，再一次讀《馬可福音》當中的這個故事。故事中的父親，意識到了他兒子的處境之艱巨。他去找那在他看來掌握了解決之道的人，也就是耶穌。耶穌向他保証，如果他能夠信，他的兒子就可以得救。故事中的父親是勇敢的。他盡其所能地集結了他所有的信心，然後又不無惶恐地意識到了自己所有的信心加在一起，恐怕也還是不夠。他滿懷謙卑地請求耶穌親自補足他所不夠的那一部分。
在我看來，這無疑為每一個全心全意尋求神的人指出了一條明路。向故事中的父親那樣，我也有一些自己無法控制的問題。在我的心中，也有一些問題是我怎麼想，也不明白的。但是我知道我應該向故事中所描述的那樣，以我的本相來到神面前，無須偽裝。我可以坦然無懼地把我現在所信的、所做的、所能擺上的呈現在神面前。這是因為在《聖經》中，耶穌要的是故事中的父親有信心。那麼與此類似的，對於你我來說，耶穌要的也是我們有信心。而像那個父親一樣，有時候就算我用盡一切辦法，我所有的信心也還是不夠。我所能做的無非是承認這一點，並且向耶穌坦白說，"我信！但我信不足，求主幫助。"
千言萬語，我要說的其實只有很簡單的一句話，就是信仰是一項非常個人的選擇。就算某個人每周日都會去教會，那也不一定就意味著這個人是跟隨基督的。同時，我也不認為一個從來沒有去過教會的人，就完全沒有跟隨耶穌的可能。只有神知道我們心裡真正的心思意念是怎樣的，也只有他才有權利作出公正的評判。神阿，願你憐憫我們每一個人。
Help me overcome
Written by K.A.
Before committing their lives to Christ, seekers will ask questions like "Is there really a God?" and "How do I know that Christianity is the true religion?" But to be honest with you, even after knowing Christ for several years, I still struggle with answering these basic questions. And ironically, my confusion continues to grow as I learn more about the topic. I know I'm not the only one who is struggling with a lack of faith.
In Mark 9, there's a story about a father who brings his demon-possessed son to Jesus for healing.
20: So they brought the boy. But when the evil spirit saw Jesus, it threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth.
21."How long has this been happening?" Jesus asked the boy's father.He replied, "Since he was a little boy.
22.The spirit often throws him into the fire or into water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us, if you can."
23."What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes."
24.The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but!"
I really relate to the Father's exasperation right now. I think he really wants to believe in Jesus but something is still holding him back. I think in the bottom of our hearts we do want to believe in God but certain things like doubt, fear, or unanswered questions may prevent us from taking root and growing in Christ. What is it that's holding you back, and how do you overcome these hindrances?
Let's look back at the story in Mark. The father recognized that his son had a problem. He went to the person who he believed could help—Jesus. Jesus assures him that his son can be healed if he has faith in Him. The father courageously musters up as much faith as he can, but fearfully recognizes what he is lacking. Humbly, he asks Jesus to supplicate his faith.
I think this is a good model for us to follow when we're earnestly seeking the truth about God. Like the father, I too have problems that are beyond my control, questions beyond my capacity to understand. But knowing what I do about God inspires me to "muster up" the best of me to bring to Jesus—the best of my faith, my actions and my devotion. As Jesus has challenged the father to have faith in the story, so He challenges you and I to a deeper faith as well. And like the Father, sometimes the best I can come up with is "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief".
When all is said and done, I conclude that faith is a really personal choice. Just because someone attends church every Sunday doesn't mean that he is following Christ; nor is it true that someone who has never stepped into church is far from Christ. Only God knows what's inside our hearts, so may the Lord be our righteous judge. Lord, have mercy.