Home昔日真理報2016年 真理報文章2016 年 5 月【開卷有益】 誰說談錢傷感情

【開卷有益】 誰說談錢傷感情

 

book金錢是一樣極為弔詭的東西,它可以讓人歡愉享受,也可以使人懊惱不堪;有人一擲千金,也有人錙銖計較;有人仗義疏財,廣交朋友,也有人因此反目成仇。就正如每個銀幣、每張鈔票都有正反兩面。

在婚姻之中,金錢更加是一項重要的議題。沒有它,寸步難行;有了它,卻又為此而盤算、擔心或者是煩惱。不管富有或貧窮,沒有一對夫婦不曾為錢而有意見不同的時候,統計數字顯示:這樣的衝突比起其他爭執更有可能導致離婚。

既然金錢是每個家庭必須要面對的項目,就讓我們以謙遜的態度來重新審視家裡的財務狀況。《誰說談錢傷感情──幸福婚姻的理財方案》是一本最為務實的入門手冊。作者麥特貝爾(Matt Bell)是美國個人財務計劃的作家兼講員,經常到處演講及主辦研討會。此書的理念根植於完整的聖經觀點,提出實際可行的建議和指引,帶給人正面而積極的盼望,尤其對於新婚夫婦或準備組織新家庭的男女,更是不可多得的讀物。

處理過很多離婚案件的律師指出:夫妻之間決裂最後出現的財務問題,其實都是可以事先預防的。為了減少婚姻中為金錢而引起的爭吵,我們首先需要知道彼此在財務上的立場,雙方用錢的習慣、態度和優先次序。

各人對金錢持有不一樣的觀念,就正如各人的性情不盡相同一樣。兩個來自不同家庭的人,有著不同的個性和文化背景,經歷不一樣的遭遇,自然影響到日後對金錢的看法和用錢的方式。

夫妻二人既然承諾一起共同生活,就必須在財務方面坦誠溝通。沒有人在進入婚姻之前在經濟上是白紙一張。雙方的收入、積蓄或負債、資產等都需要有基本的瞭解,免得婚後有受騙的感覺。

至於錢要花在那一個項目上的優先次序,更需要事前透過交換意見,輪流說出自己的期望,大家取得協調和共識,才可以避免將來很多無謂的紛爭。有人重視家居享受,有人喜歡出外旅遊,或者子女教育、投資增值、飲食娛樂等,錢應該先用在那一個類別上?所佔的比例又應該是多少?就得靠夫婦兩人平心靜氣、尊重對方的意願、體諒配偶的感受,彼此協商、共同達成一致的意見。

作者在書中也提醒讀者:作為信徒,做預算的時候要謹記首要的項目就是捐獻。上帝是無限慷慨的,我們有著上帝的形象,因此慷慨也是我們的本質,只有當我們慷慨的時候,就是活得與上帝所設計的形象和諧一致。捐獻錢財支持上帝的工作,扶助有需要的人,就是提醒自己:祂是我們最首要的優先。

無論個人或是家庭,財務管理首要的原則,就是絕不舉債。除了合理的房貸以外,如果還有其他的負債,例如學生貸款、汽車貸款或信用卡拖欠,第一要務就是讓自己變成無債一身輕,然後保持不負債。消費型的債務最容易燃起夫妻之間財務的不安和緊張,造成磨擦和傷害,為了維繫夫婦和諧,何不等到清還所有債務之後,再添置心儀的物品。

財務上最大的誘惑就是先給自己,可是上帝對以色列人的教導卻是先向上帝獻上首生的、初熟的、最好的。因此即使在最拮据的時候,捐獻和給予仍然不可少,寧願節約其他開支,例如暫時停止收看某些收費電視頻道、甚至家中不裝設網絡、減少出外用餐、由兩部車變成一部車。因為耶穌被問到甚麼是生命中最重要的事,祂的回答是:「你要盡心、盡性、盡意愛主你的上帝。」明白上帝是我們生命的主人,就改變了我們對金錢的看法,因為知道我們所擁有的一切實際上都屬於上帝,是祂給予機會,讓我們管理和善用,並非為滿足一己的享受。

上帝從來都是豐富的供應者,祂絕不吝嗇,也樂意賞賜盡力捐獻的人,祂應許說,要敞開天上的窗戶,傾福給他們。當我們仍在感歎生命總是債務太多、儲蓄太少、財務壓力太大時,統管萬有的上帝完全明白你的處境,何不向祂尋求理財的智慧,讓祂為你策劃整個生活的優先次序呢!

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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