【非洲異國情】寡婦

 

喪偶是人生悲痛的事,但不會損害喪偶者與喪家之間的關係,以致彼此生怨疏遠。在今天的自由社會裏,女性地位日益提高,寡婦再出嫁已是平常事,不會對她們妨礙,或受到家人社會的壓力。鰥夫若「續弦」,也會得到親人慶賀。然而在非洲許多地區,因生活環境欠佳,死亡率又高。許多社群仍故守多妻制,男子因身勞而多命薄早逝,寡婦增多的現象更顯嚴重。據 2015 全非洲統計,十個婦女便有一個是寡婦。亞撒哈拉地區的寡婦奇多,佔全球的寡婦人口約十分一。寡婦的命運各異,但這都不在她們的掌控下,還要承受社會莫大的壓力,婦女喪偶後的餘生很悲苦。

莫西與妻子花地瑪一家在鄉間以務農為生,膝下有四子女,兩大的在念中學,兩小的才開始上學。一天,莫西不幸患上急病,要趕送往幾百里外首都的醫院,兩天後搶救無效。噩訊傳至,家人深受打擊,喪禮由他兄弟親友辦理,接續舉行守喪月,親友遠近到來致哀。然而,莫西的妻子按族例一直在家中與子女守候,不許在公眾露面。喪期過後,莫西胞弟須照族例迎娶兄嫂和收養她所有子女。他為人也有情義,不勉強兄嫂,容許她選擇留下或返回娘家。花地瑪其後選擇離去,留下四子女給夫弟。由於他已有妻子和多個子女,今後還要照料兄長子女,這使他一家生活百上加斤,他只好叫兄嫂的兩個大女停學出來工作以維持家計。

非洲傳統社會普遍仍以男權為主。喪夫後,遺孀無權主宰自已的命運和財物。穆斯林的社群對此有教規可循。如上述所言,寡婦若返回母家,待父母為她另找一戶人家作妾。若願意留下的,她們多會受制於家中的婦女而成為卑下人,生活權利和物質享用自然也受到剝削。被收養子女多由親母辛勞供養,常受著繼父家人的偏見歧視,也得不著愛護的環境下成長,有如二等家人。

寡婦的權利未受保障,而政府又忽略有關問題。某些地區因盛行少女早嫁,年少可至10-12歲,年輕寡婦常受到強迫要嫁與老人為妾,終身服苦。寡婦若有子女年紀尚幼,她們便要負起「當家」責任,獨力撫養子女,因貧寒力薄,偶遇糧盡抱病等候解救時,她們也得要賣身當娼來養家。若有成長子女,寡婦多選擇留在子女身旁而相依為命。這些獨力生活的家庭努力多年仍未擺脫貧窮,情況延及下代,命運就像「爭脫不了的咒詛」。

寡婦問題也帶來衛生和社會問題。在某些傳統社群,寡婦若願留下再嫁,她必須先接受先夫家人的要求,洗濯亡夫的屍體,為的是洗淨和擺脫她們身上曾有先夫靈魂的綁束和不潔,重得自由和潔淨,有時更要她們喝飲「洗屍水」。這些禮儀可引發「依波拉」疫症更多蔓延。西非「依」疫肆虐期間,那些寡婦容許暫以洗石頭代之。前述的寡婦當娼問題,還有餬口的需要,她們甚至要把家中妙齡的女兒送作娼妓。

說到有些關於亡夫的家產分配的問題。在穆斯林社群較好,對遺產分配早有教條明文規定必須人人有分。子女中男各佔一份,女的佔半份,遺孀只佔八分一。也有屢見不鮮的不法分配家產糾紛,寡婦的家財和土地房屋被夫家的人無理侵奪。若遺孀挺身追索而沒有娘家協助,常會遭受先夫家人壓迫而不能討回,嚴重者更會被家人逐出家門,淪為行乞或當娼為生。也有些傳統社群別有族例,如妻子所生的兒女是屬娘家村族的人口。妻子在出嫁時,其娘家曾給予豐厚的嫁妝,如衣服,傢俬等,是歸妻子所擁有。當喪夫後,妻子娘家村民會出面爭取,將婦人出嫁時的嫁妝和所生子女一併取回。遺產分配常有不少分爭事件,雙方家庭鄉族也得要對薄公堂。

非洲寡婦的安全保障問題普遍仍未受到政府關注,婦女也未認識個人的人權,只由傳統風俗或群眾的擺佈而成為受害者。非洲寡婦衍生的社會問題已漸得到國際關注,有不少團體到當地給予受害者援助,同時催促當地政府立法保障寡婦權益。

參考資料

Fox Health News. From cleaning corpses to sex with strangers' widow rituals fuel disease in Africa. Fox Health News. June 22, 2016. http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/06/22/from-cleaning-corpses-to-sex-with-strangers-widow-rituals-fuel-disease-in-africa.html

Dominique, Van de Walle. Neglected and Poor Widow in Mali. African CAN End poverty. September 9, 2011. blogs.worldbank.org/africacan/neglected-and-poor-widows-in-mali


Nwaebuni, Rose. Nigeria: A difficult place to be a widow. The Forum of African Investigative Reporters. The African Report. November 27, 2013. http://www.theafricareport.com/West-Africa/nigeria-a-difficult-place-to-be-a-widow.html

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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