【非洲異國情】寄養孩童

 

某天在非洲一個市鎮,筆者探望一對學校主任夫婦,被受到他們很熱誠的款待。不覺時已午正,婦人離坐到後苑厨房去,趕備午膳給快下課回家的小孩。筆者好奇詢問他有多少孩子回來吃飯,驚訝且難以致信地有 15 個之多。主任接續澄清,他們只有兩個小孩,其餘都是親友寄養。其中有多種原因,有的屬全然收養,有的只是因鄉間親友子女升學從而到來,其父母找主任夫婦暫時照顧,寄宿在此而已。

寄養孩童

他們是一群由親生父母轉給別的家庭撫養的小孩,自幼至成年都不在親父母身邊,成年後是否回到親父母家也不一定。如此情況便稱為「收養」更為恰當。受寄養的孩童年齡由乳養期至十來歲都有。傳統上,男孩交與妻子姊妹的家庭,女孩將交與夫家兄弟的家庭。孩童寄養是全球性的現象,據專家研究發現,在非洲很普遍,特別在西非洲各國的民族中更是盛行的風俗。一般情況,小孩由乳養期至十歳內比數居多,十至十四、五歲者也有不少,且女性比率較高。除尼日利亞外,在沿海國家比內陸國家為少。寄養貧窮家庭比富有安定的為多。

寄養盛行的原由

寄養孩童的原因有多種。最常見是因父母喪亡;家貧而無經濟能力撫養孩童;宗教奉獻等外在理由。然而,在非洲更有民族傳統的內在理由,父母積極而為,社群為此也推崇備至。後二者也藉得深思。

宗教性理由多在穆斯林民族中間盛行。在西非國家中以保拿族為多。這族群是個遍佈西非各國的遊牧民族(部份富有的已在各國城市定居),佔大部份仍是文盲,是過著畜牧漂遊生活的社群。因生養眾多而生活不定,孩童只好交與近親撫養,或至交給一些宗教領袖寄養。在宗教團體內有特別安排,由教長(稱為馬拉布 Marabout)收養後,將他們帶到鄰國,在小市鎮開辦托管所,教他們學習可蘭經,日間安排孩童到市內各處以行乞討錢生活,供養他們的師傅。這些孩童年小,有五歲至十五歲不等,全是男孩,過著極度貧苦的團體生活,在街上多年遊蕩漸而染上懷習慣和健康問題。近年世界組織已積極介入並致力改善問題。

另外是民族傳統理由。在城鎮內富有家庭也將子女送交別人收養,真令人費解。這種傳統是超越貧富和家庭困難等理由所限制,基於傳統理由,將子女彼此交換寄育,可維護民族間感情的結連,提高民族的團結,也可彼此分擔育幼工作,均衡族人的資源經濟分配。

筆者家傭夫婦新婚後搬進來工作,他們仍未有生育,卻帶了他們一位約五歲大的姪女到來同住。據聞是女方姊妹的女兒,作他們的養女,此舉也提醒他們不忘要儘快生育。

對社會發展沖擊

非洲進入文明發展時代,寄養孩養的傳統受到民族城市化和社會國家發展過程帶來的許多沖擊。

正面上,許多在鄉間的婦女,因要工作維生緣故,將子女給祖父母寄養,特別在孩童哺乳期內,婦女從而有更多時間協助田務和到市場辦貨,或從事買賣等工作來幫補家計,也讓祖家父母提醒可生育的婦人要再添子女。再者,收養子女可增加家庭勞動人口,減輕家務的負荷。

而然,這種傳統也帶來不少有礙社群發展的問題。生育旺盛的婦女不愁育幼的辛勞,使她們在生育上不受限制,特別在某些推崇以多產婦為光宗耀祖的美德的民族中。此舉不但使人口增長失控,家計會和社群發展等努力也一籌莫展。另外,近代政府大力推行教育上,因學生的家長和監護人都是非生養父母,使學校在扶育學生計劃上,老師因不能有效與學童在監護人和家長聯絡和合作,甚或交學費責任也常遇問題。

孩童的生存權益受忽略。他們與在受寄養的家庭中自主的孩童間受不公平的對待。據統計,自主的孩童多受到愛護和進校受教育機會高,收養的受教育比率低,他們也是家中最好的勞動成員,能改善社群的生產力。

中、非異同

上述的傳統跟中國的有相近之處。因戰亂或家庭變動而分散,部份中國家庭會將其子女暫寄養於近親,作為保持連絡關係,待日後形勢穩定後,才團聚相認。言而非洲傳統,因普遍不重視家中孩童個人特有的需要去加以培育,只視他們為家庭的產業財賦,人口多寡關係著全家勞動力和安全防維等問題。隨著近代城市化和外國文化介入,這些傳統正面臨許多衝擊,在過渡期中,孩童的人生觀和價值觀,受教育,社群和個別家庭間的利益平衡和取捨等議題,都在不斷演變中。

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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