Home昔日真理報2018年 真理報文章2018 年 7 月【讀經隨想】我常以論斷當真理嗎?

【讀經隨想】我常以論斷當真理嗎?

 

 Headline Van Atc

 

「你們這要靠律法稱義的,是與基督隔絕,從恩典中墜落了。」(加拉太書5:4)

週末和孩子約好一起看《親密之旅》中「情緒自我調節五要訣」的課程,從開始播放到第一個要訣都快講完了,兒子不時地動動手機,打兩下遊戲,我忍耐著、期望著他能自動把手機放到桌子上。然而結果事與願違,於是我表情嚴肅、提高聲調喊「暫停」,然後說什麼「你知道學習最需要的不是聰明,而是專注嗎?」「你知道這麼好的課程,不是每個人都有機會學習的嗎?」......我急切地、長篇大論地說教加批評,最後老爸明智地做了決定:「重看」。

就在大家等候重播,一片安靜的時刻,忽然聖靈柔聲敲打著我的心:「你愛他嗎?他,感受到你的愛了嗎?」我頓時察覺自己又犯了「論斷」的罪。前一晚不是還和孩子們說他們都大了,我們彼此要像弟兄姐妹般相處嗎?第二天一早我就忍不住自以為義,總是把自己身為父母的權柄和規矩融合了,一套套的大道理(真理)突顯孩子的不合律法準則。

聖經說律法是好的,律法是上帝的標準。但人是屬肉體的,因肉體的軟弱,没有人能達到上帝的標準。而律法的總綱就是:你要盡心、盡性、盡意、盡力愛主你的上帝。試問:誰能做到?上帝知道我們做不到,因此耶穌來了,祂把上帝的愛和恩典帶來給我們。上帝藉著賜下獨生愛子耶穌來對我們說:「我知道你做不到,孩子,現在就讓我盡心、盡性、盡意、盡力來愛你吧!」所以聖經說:「不是我們愛神,乃是神愛我們!」(約一4:10a)唯有當你知道上帝有多愛你時,你才會有多愛衪!當我回看自己和孩子的關係時,不禁低頭認罪。我可有先將我的愛和恩典帶給孩子?我可有讓孩子感受到我有多愛他?

因為「我們若愛神,並且遵行衪的命令,就知道我們是愛神的兒女了。」(約一5:2)且「凡是遵守衪的道的,他愛神的心就的確在衪裡面完全了。」(約一2:5a)所以當我們感受到神有多愛我們時,我們就會以遵守衪的話來表達我們對神的愛。這時的真理,伴隨著恩典,讓人裡面有一股愛的趨策力,才有動力來遵行。那麼要孩子聽從我們的話,豈不亦然?當我反覆講述我的律法標準,他卻達不到時,我最常看見的是自己憤怒、不滿的情緒,當然有時也會看見孩子的不安、挫敗的情緒,看不見的卻是隱藏在彼此內心底層的被愛被關懷的需求。我多麼習以為常地斷定他就是老犯錯、改不了?感謝聖靈柔聲地提醒,真是一語驚醒夢中人啊!

經常地,我依據聖經的教導,或是充滿寶貴經驗之哲理,用以告誡孩子,也是好意、也是為他好、也是「用愛心說誠實話」。我自覺心態良善,更是用心良苦,然而對方感受到的卻是嚴厲的指責,甚至激發其辯解與怒氣。我後來漸漸體會:在對方感受不到愛時的說教,即將真理放在了關係之前,只會帶來罪惡感、憂慮、忿怒...... 等等,一大堆痛苦的情緒,結果不但促使不了他的成長,反而是破壞了彼此的關係。

「應該......」的說教與家規,它是父母給孩子如律法形式般的真理,為了給孩子行為的引導與界限。但當我們看聖經提到律法,講到真理而缺少恩典時,我們發現律法使人啞口無言(羅3:19) 、惹動忿怒 (羅4:5) 、使過犯顯多(羅5:20) 、發動惡慾(羅7:5) 、帶入死亡(羅7:5) 、使人成為被咒詛的(加3:10) 、綑绑我們(加3:23) 、受嚴厲的論斷(加2:10) ,而最可歎的是與神隔絕! 保羅說:「你們這要靠律法稱義的,是與基督隔絕,從恩典中墜落了。」(加拉太書5:4)

《改變帶來醫治》這本書中提到:真理缺了恩典就是「論斷」。會論斷的人,通常看低別人,就是像文士和法利賽人一樣「坐在摩西的位上」(太23:2) ,以高高在上的審判者的地位來看人,亦或站在道德高點上自以為義地來批評人。我就是這樣總看見孩子做錯了什麼,急著教導他、糾正他,以致不能溫柔地表達對他的愛,這是我一直以來的功課。感謝聖靈的提醒與引導,讓我再次體會到,我和孩子在基督裡的地位是一樣的—都是在恩典中。有「愛」,生命才能更新、才能活潑!

親愛的阿爸天父,:

謝謝您為了救贖我們這些罪人,竟然賜下您的獨生子耶穌,您向我們大大地顯明您是何等地愛我們!求您開啓我們的心門,能真正經歷到您是如此的愛我們,而不是僅僅在頭腦上知道您愛我們。主啊!謝謝您派聖靈保惠師來成為我們隨時的幫助,藉著聖靈的的光照,幫助我看見自己的盲點,求主赦免我對孩子經常犯下論斷的罪;也感謝聖靈的引導,教導我回轉,以基督的心為心來愛孩子,在真理教導之外,更要多給孩子恩慈和恩典。謝謝主的恩典與愛永遠和我們同在!奉耶稣基督的聖名感恩禱告祈求,阿們!

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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