【日本樂散步】隱世家

 

Chion

 

名牌新家銷售廣告,一家四口樂融融在客廳中,女兒們在玩拋接球,女屋主滿意地訴說新家樓頂真高,男屋主有些不自在地笑笑回應著「是」,但心想著「我說謊了!」......鏡頭一換,陳年舊相片中的他,從小就愛狹窄矮頂的小空間,愛躲在桌下、紙箱內、日式拉門衣櫃裡及住在膠囊酒店中。現在他已有家室,就要為家人想......

隱藏給人有種安心感,孩童期已傾向建一個圍上不讓人見的秘密基地、隱世家(隠れ家 Hidden Place),只招待自己喜歡的人,心愛的東西往裡藏,做錯事的逃避所,受傷時更需要用來保護自己,古人的茶屋及庵(小屋)也就是古代版的隱世家。但現實就如廣告中的男屋主,長大後為責任,要放棄所喜的狹窄而迎合家人愛的寬大。但心靈上還是需要隱密空間可以自在地舒口氣,這會不會是日本人相對起知名大店,更愛光顧隱世家而令這類店大熱的原因?

現代版隱世家在人們心中的定意是,店立在轉彎抹角的巷子裏或隱藏在普通的大廈中,沒有招牌、入口不起眼、暗暗的燈光、會員制等。隱世家可以是一間餐廰、酒吧、旅館、書店或Cafe。進入一個和平日不同的異空間,迴避了固定的生活角色,如公司職員或家中成員。在不認識的陌生人群中,沒有負擔地把日常的自己變成另一個不帶責任的角色,隨心吃飯飲酒、與新朋友談天說地減減壓。有位五十歲的白領客人說他絕對不會介紹給同事熟人,這小店是他放鬆的安神劑。東京約有兩萬間隱世家食店,較鄉鎮感的島根縣是只有二百幾間,漁夫大伯們也愛在辛苦一天收網後,到只有本地人才知的雜貨店後屋,家居小廚房變身的酒屋飲兩杯,互相交流交流才回船繼續處理收穫物。

不只是大人會因窒息的責任或因難而生逃避的心態,升學或人際關係也壓迫著孩子及年青人,越是弱小的越會為了保護自己而藏得更深更隱。

小學及中學生在學校遇到不公平對待,或同學的欺負,小小人兒還不懂如何面對傷害,能依賴的家長老師如沒有把事情處理好,脆弱如蛋殼的心靈就添上創傷,自己的房間變成隱世家。為逃避受傷而長期拒絕回學校的不登校生,在日本及世界各地也不斷增加中。孩子們沒有辦法獨自生存,在學校受同學老師或在家中受家人身體或語言上的虐待,無處可逃,自我保護下就把無助的心門關上,對外界不理不睬。在各種的傷害下,比隱藏自己在密室中,更嚴重的是絕望地結束自己唯一可以控制的—生命。自殺的年齡越催年青化,已降到十以下的個位數。

五月的兩件心傷案件,一件是 50 多歲無職男子殺傷小學生及家長,另一件是退休長官未雨綢繆,怕有暴力傾向的繭居兒子將來會傷人而刺殺兒子。兩件事都與 8050 課題及繭居族有關,50 歲子女因要長期照顧及打理生病 80 多歲父母生活,而迫不得已辭去工作長期留在家中,人際關係被逼中斷。80 多歲的家長養著 50 多歲生活大小都需要父母照顧,因個人問題而無法出外工作,長期躲藏在家裡的子女(日:ひきこもり(Soical Withdrawal) 中: 繭居族)。已成為老化社會關注的焦點,因為不論父母或子女,長期被困在不能迴避的重責中,如精神及肉體壓力得不到適當的舒緩,容易陷入胡思亂想、鑽牛角尖,繼而引起心理疾病。

隱藏也是幫助成長,由孩子們愛玩的躲迷藏,學會空間認知力,沒成熟的幼兒把頭一遮眼一閉就算藏好,大一點時知道要觀察環境把整個身子藏匿好;學會思考,預測搜索者的行動;也學與別人互動互尋的遊戲樂趣。長大後躲藏的原因不再全是樂事......學會要避免受傷,就要隱藏真正想法去迎合世界,異見、不同是要付上相當的代價。難於忍受時,就躲藏不見人不接觸外界,越來越多人選擇這消極的方法處理自己的困苦。也學會疲煩時,要藏在不被打擾的地方憩休,才能安靜思考問題,正面及適當地隱藏休息對身心靈是有好處的。

今早繁忙的上班族友人就把自己藏上來,不回覆 SNS 或電話,與天父一起讀經唱詩,訴說她的感恩及寫在日記中。基督徒也是普通人,遇到困境及難處是正常,只是有著一個 24 小時開放、超安心的避風隱世家,主耶穌像避風所和避暴雨的隱密處,又像河流在乾旱之地,像大磐石的影子在疲乏之地(以賽亞書32:2)。藏在救贖主的所在處,信賴賜予永生盼望的祂愛著我,煩躁的心就得療癒、得安慰,是超安心的隱世家,也歡迎你!

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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