【特稿】開心果快樂人

 

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人人都有脾氣,有些人心平氣和,但有些人卻是動輒就亂發脾氣,你屬於前者,或是後者呢?不幸的是我屬於後者,我曾立志改掉壞脾氣,但總是改不了。今天我能改變成為人見人愛的開心果快樂人!

以前我的脾氣很差,很暴躁,常常因為一些雞毛蒜皮的小事就發脾氣,加上工作繁忙、壓力大,使我的脾氣變得更差。一次下班,我丈夫開車到地鐵站接我回家。那晚下著大雨,所以,我見到丈夫來接我特別開心,因為不用在雨中走路回家,一上車我們都是有說有笑。後來,我丈夫講了一句很普通的話,普通得連我都忘記了是甚麼,我只記得那句話不合我心意,我即時變臉並大聲罵他一頓。他脾氣很好,沒有和我對罵,只是對我說:「上車時你很開心,車程只是四、五條街,還不到 2 分鐘這麼短的時間,你竟然可以 180 度大轉變,收下火啦!」我也察覺到自己的脾氣不好,自己也感到很無奈,壞脾氣不單改不了,發火時,怒氣還越來越控制不了,暴躁不斷上升。

記得有一次我吩咐大兒子要讀書溫習,卻被我發現他是用本書擺在檯上假裝看書溫習,實際上是在電腦上玩遊戲。當我責備他不應該如此,他不但沒認錯反而駁嘴說自己可以一心二用。即時我怒氣升到頂點,情緒完全失控。不由分說,我隨手就拿起那部手提電腦,大力砸掉在地上,「砰」一聲,全家人都肅靜了,地上的電腦四分五裂,這樣還未消退我的怒火,我覺得兒子太不應該這樣的,我氣得要衝進房裡大哭。你想想,那部電腦才剛剛用了一個月,是新的,我不管照樣扔,我的脾氣是這麼差。

在 2005 年,聽朋友的分享說:「參加教會的小朋友是特別聽話的。」我是為了兒女而來到教會。踏入教會,發覺教會裡的人很友善,個個都滿面笑容,我感到很舒服和寧靜。此後,我和兒女每主日便去教會,不經不覺在教會聽了多年聖經道理,感到很受用,並且我願意相信耶穌,但礙於家人是拜神的,所以我不敢輕易作這決定,為怕與家人有衝突。直至 2015 年聖誕節,有人送給我一張聖誕咭,這個人是不懂中文的,但她很努力地把一些中文聖經經文寫在咭上送給我。咭上寫著:「愛是恆久忍耐......愛是不輕易發怒......凡事包容......凡事忍耐......」(哥林多前書13章4~8節)。這幾句話打入我心中,對我有很大的影響,神愛的話是這樣來提醒我,令到我得到很大的幫助。寫這咭送給我的人是誰呢?就是我 16 歲的女兒!讓我最受感動的是女兒還在聖誕咭裡寫上她的心願:希望能與家人一起受洗。這使我更加確定信耶穌,女兒給了我很大的動力,我以前就是缺少了這點點勇氣,真是很奇妙,神讓女兒鼓勵我,終使我能下定決心相信耶穌。感謝神!

Happy信耶穌後,神改變了我的生命,我的脾氣也改變了。現在我大兒子仍然有玩電腦遊戲,甚至有時玩到深夜,但我沒有責罵他,因為聖經說:「愛是不輕易發怒」。我選擇一個上午好好地跟大兒子傾談,也定下一些規矩:他可以玩遊戲機,但一定要每天先完成功課,然後才可以玩遊戲機,並且一定要在 11 點前睡覺。當他玩遊戲機超時的時候,我會溫馨提示他一次,如果他不聽,我會為他禱告求神幫助他。感謝神!現在他大部分時間都能按著規矩玩遊戲機。感恩神改變了我,幫助我不再為了兒子玩遊戲機而亂發脾氣。

有時,當我遇到心懷不平而發怒氣,我就向神禱告,並思想神的話語來克制自己的脾氣。記得一次和家人晚飯,我女兒不喝湯,因她不喜歡湯裡有蝦乾帶魚腥的味道。我爸爸大發雷霆指著我大罵,說這是我的問題,我平日不好好教育孩子....;作媽媽的理應教導兒女養成給甚麼就吃甚麼的習慣。我一聽火就來了,心想你真是不講道理的人,不喜歡就不喜歡嘛,怎麼可以教呢?她不喜歡喝湯怎會關我事?正當我要向他反駁時,神在我心靈作工,提醒我凡事要禱告,我馬上心中默默的祈禱求神幫助。「生氣卻不要犯罪,不可含怒到日落,也不可給魔鬼留地步」(以弗所書4章26-27節),這經文浮現在我腦海裡,一字一句教導我要立即處理自己的怒氣,以免破壞與家人的關係。奇妙!我心頭的怒氣平靜了。結果,只有爸爸一人在那裡不斷地責罵人,直到火氣沒有為止才自己收聲。就這樣,原本會火併的場面竟然化解之外,我還可以化怒為恕。那次之後,第二天我又如常跟爸爸談話了。我沒有像以前那樣生氣幾天,然後找機會向爸爸還擊,過去我真的有無數次事後的還擊,借題與爸爸吵架。很奇妙啊,我爸那次向我無理取鬧,我竟然心裡禱告,聖經的話就出來了,而我更沒有駁斥他,只是靜靜地坐在那裏,不說任何的話,心裏一遍一遍地思想神的話「要和和氣氣,與人保持良好的關係」。

如果不是相信了耶穌,我的脾氣繼續壞下去就像一頭猛獸,我沒辦法控制自己,反而被壞脾氣來控制我,破壞我和丈夫及孩子的關係。我感謝神拯救了我,改變了我,令到我不再亂發脾氣。我看見家人關係彼此融洽,自己也成為一個和和藹藹的人,心中充滿不能言盡的快樂。感謝耶穌!祂真的能夠改變我的性格和脾氣,希望你也能認識這位奇妙的救主——耶穌!得這生命之福,成為一個開心快樂人!

 

      聖經金句 (Bible Verses)

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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